“AT&T and the Space-Time-Customer Continuum”

Brian Andresen sent a link to me for a story in the New York Times, "24/7 Service, But Who's Counting?"

Apparently the author, Matt Richtel, actually thought that AT&T's "24/7 Service Guarantee" meant that they provide customer service 24 hours per day, seven days per week.

How silly is that?

Everybody (else) knows that when a company grows too large (as their mass increases), their gravity increases and they begin to actually warp time and space around them. The effect is similar to both black holes and extremely large egos, except that it's so boring nobody would ever make a movie out of it.

So, in their warped space, they are actually providing "24/7 service", it just doesn't coincide with our perceptions.

Please don't make me explain that again.