“General Update”

This morning, my sister announced that she and Art are going to have another baby in November. That's great news, of course, and I mean that, but was a little hard to take, especially for Corinne.

To understand, you have to consider our reference point: every bit of news is compared to or contrasted with our loss, in our minds.

Something bad happened to you, so bad that you feel it's worth whining to one of us about? Sorry to hear that, but go hug your kids. It'll make you feel better.

Something great happened? Congratulations. Please don't be too happy around us right now, it's like fingernails on a chalkboard.

These responses are totally involuntary, and maybe a little selfish, but that's just the way it is. (We don't actually say these things, except here and to each other, but they're still there.)

To my mind, it's like Corinne was struck by lightning, and I was standing a little too close. She took the brunt of it, but it knocked us both flat. Her emotional wiring has taken a tremendous jolt, and now it (she) is bouncing all over the place. The strangest things make her cry, sometimes violently. Other, equally strange things can make her smile brightly, unexpectedly.

I prefer the smiles, when they come.

My bike's almost ready. I test rode it this afternoon -- less than an hour ago -- and it's beautiful, light, agile, and feels very fast. Unfortunately, Mystic Cycle had to build it with the wrong stem because they didn't have one in stock to meet Seven's specs (which is annoying, they had the specs way ahead of time). The new stem will be in Friday's UPS delivery, and it will only take them a few minutes to swap it out.

I'm really excited about the new bike, but, to be honest, the outbreak of emotions today have overshadowed it.