“Mother's Day”

This is a very difficult "Hallmark day" around my house. As with all of the special days, you can feel it approaching for at least a week in advance. It's like "smelling" a storm before you hear any thunder.

I do want to wish Corinne a happy Mother's Day, but it just seems so unrealistic right now! Shane has been gone for two years, two months and two days. We've healed a lot in that time – even Corinne has healed — but that doesn't mean the pain is gone. Anyone reading this who has lost a child, or who is close to someone who has lost a child, knows what I'm talking about.

There's a pain, like a migraine, that never goes away. You learn to survive with it, and some days it's more bearable than others.

Birthdays, holidays, and Mother's Day are not those "more bearable" days.

Corinne's friends have learned how to help her cope on these days: they try. I mean that trying is how you help. For the last few years, Andrew has given her a hanging flower pot for the front porch. Last year, some of the sisters in the ecclesia gave her a gold heart pendant which was laser-engraved with Shane's face, and Katie gave her a beaded necklace that says, "Shane's Mom." This year, Allysia (sp?) gave her a handmade, miniature, wall quilt with four pictures of Shane. Loanne (sp?) C. always sends a card, or a thoughtful gift.

It might sound otherwise, but the key isn't the gift, it's the thought. Or really, the expression of it.

Loanne always brings a tear to Corinne's eye because they've never even met and live 3,000 miles apart, but Loanne just never forgets! (I know you'll read this, so: thank you.)

Children become your future, your heritage. Losing them makes you feel broken and alone. Thoughtfulness can't make you feel whole again, but it does a great job of taking away the Alone.

To everyone who told Corinne, today, that you know this is a 'tough day' for her, or that you're thinking of her, or love her: thank you! You all helped make it a little easier.

Oh, and Happy Mother's Day to my own Mom, and my sister, and grandmother, and aunts, and...