“Shannon's Troubles, Lousy System, Rule Enforcement”

The good news is that nothing (new) is wrong with Shannon. She simply took the afternoon off work to hang out with some friends.

Of course, that's totally against the rules. Either she got the day (or afternoon) off from Staples and they were covering for her every time I called (entirely possible, as they know her situation), or she did this without even telling them she wouldn't be back after lunch. Plus, it's entirely against the rules of the halfway house: she's still technically a prisoner, and only has permission to go to work and doctor's offices.

"Hanging out with friends" and being very susceptible to peer pressure is, in many ways, what got Shannon into this situation in the first place.

My understanding is that her case worker (counsellor?) at the house had only three options: send her back to regular prison for the rest of her term, give her an infraction ticket (wrist slap), or scold her but do nothing. It appears that she chose the third option.

Shannon's biggest issue is that she's very selfish, thinks only about what will make her happy now, and doesn't care about long term consequences. The proof is that she would do this knowing that she was already a month beyond her scheduled parole date, and that we were just waiting for the home inspection.

Her counselor was supposed to tell her that I wasn't coming down. She just called me to ask if I was still coming. This was my first chance to talk to her.

All she did was drive around Norwalk with her friend Jen, wasting gas for the day. She had the day off from work, so I was right that Staples was just covering for her. Three different people at Staples covered for her, including the manager. Wow.

I've said from the very beginning (including in my letter to the Judge) that the things Mike and Shannon need to learn are not going to be taught in prison. She needs strong role models, discipline, and guidance. At the halfway house, all she has is a bunch of people that believe "bad" means "got caught." (Including the staff!)

People — especially kids — only learn from their mistakes if there are consistent consequences for making them, for breaking the rules.

For example (and I talked to Sean and Jim about this last year, so they may remember it), let's say you have a rule in your house: no bouncing balls in the house. Do you enforce the rule (issue some sort of punishment) for breaking the rule, or do you just tell him to knock it off? In my experience, most parents don't really enforce the rule until the bouncing ball annoys them or the kid breaks a lamp.

Which means, of course, that the rule was "don't annoy your parents" or "don't break a lamp."

The rules at the halfway house include, "don't go anywhere except pre-approved places, and come straight home afterwards" and "don't lie to the staff." Shannon broke the first rule by hanging out with a friend for the day instead of working (and I'm betting this was not anywhere near the first time), and did it by telling the staff that she had to work that day when she wasn't even scheduled.

I'm not writing this to suggest that I'm giving up. Corinne and I talked about it last night... she's close to wanting to give up, but I've reminded her that we never thought Shannon would learn anything (good) by going to prison. It's going to be up to us to straighten her out when she comes home.

Next week.

This means we're going to need strong ground rules, and some way to enforce them.

(At least she's ok. That was concern number one.)