Truer Words - A Journal

My Best Friend's Birthday

seth@macrobyte.net — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 20:11:45 GMT

Happy Birthday Corinne!

I guess it's a little unfortunate that our anniversary and wedding fall so closely together, and also that the PMC happens in the same month. We spend a lot of money (a lot for us, anyway) every year at the PMC, and then it seems like Corinne gets a little gypped every year because her birthday falls two weeks after those other big events.

It also didn't help that I seemed to be a little grumpy this morning. I didn't know it, and I don't know what would have caused it, but I'm not denying it!

Anyway, we did have some fun. We took Lauren to a local "town farm" in Groton, and she started screaming "buck buck!" at the top of her lungs as soon as she saw the free-range chickens. A few minutes later her screams changed to, "Baaaaa! BAAAAAAAAAAAA!" when she saw the sheep way down at the other end of the fence (and then ran all the way to them).

If you see Corinne around, make sure you wish her a happy birthday (even if it's belated), and give her a vigorous hug. No wimpy hugs, please. ;-)

Eleven Years Together

seth@macrobyte.net — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 12:50:46 GMT

Happy Anniversary Corinne!

As of yesterday (August 3), Corinne and I have been married for eleven years.

Eleven years of knowing, believing, and being reassured that we chose wisely and correctly. Eleven years of knowing that we're both with the right person. Eleven years of feeling completed and complemented and balanced.

We've seen each other through a lot of big things in those years. Bad things like my bike accident in 1998, real poverty, the near failure of my business, and of course Shane's death. Lots of good things, too, like kittens scampering all over the house, helping Mike and Shannon, experiencing Lauren from day 1, and watching (or even helping) each other grow and "blossom" and change in unexpected and interesting ways.

I can think of nothing in this life which is ever perfectly flawless, but nor can I imagine anyone else with whom I would want to share this imperfect life. Corinne, you are the beating of my heart, I love you.

(Sorry I didn't post this yesterday, folks. Flaky internet connection in the hotel, and I was too tired to write anything coherent.)

PMC Day 1: Sturbridge to Bourne, by the Numbers

seth@macrobyte.net — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 03:03:02 GMT

Saturday, August 2, 2008

This was my sixth year riding the PMC, and my fourth year to include the Huckleberries ride (which makes it a three-day event). Those previous three years, I was totally exhausted on Saturday morning from the hard ride on Friday.

This year was different...

PMC Day 0: The Huckleberries Ride Again

seth@macrobyte.net — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 02:50:25 GMT

Friday, August 1, 2008

This ride was epic.

There were fifteen of us, as shown in the picture below:

15 at the Start

From left to right: Scott, Joel, Jon, Tom, Mark, Dave, Tim, Not Sure, Ellen, Me, Steve, Mike, Mark, Not Sure, and Steve.

Could someone fill me in on the "Not Sures" please?

Did I forget to mention that I was riding with Lilliputians? They may be tiny, but they make up for it with numbers!

Click the image for higher resolution. (This is Mark Stockwell's photo, used with permission.)

Not pictured...

PMC 2008: Day -1, "Holy Screwed Up Feet, Batman!"

seth@macrobyte.net — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 01:17:27 GMT

Thursday, July 31, 2008

“Day -1” is the travel day from home in Mystic, CT to our hotel on the MA/NY line in West Stockbridge, MA. This day is normally quite uneventful, if slightly stressful. I sleep poorly the night before (mostly due to excitement), work in the morning instead of packing, hear a little (deserved) fussing from Corinne because I haven't yet packed, then finally pack everything into the car and leave.

Things were a little different this year. I slept well, and only worked for less than an hour in the morning, while Corinne was at a doctor's appointment (checkup), and manage to pack most of my clothes before she returned. I checked my Gmail account to see if any new software donations had come in, and found that someone had donated 1,000 licenses of his app!

After Corinne returned and we finished the packing, I started loading up the minivan which we borrowed from my Dad for the trip. My bike was the last item to go in, and I was prepping it in the garage. Dad was holding Lauren, and kept "peeking" her out around the garage door so I could say "boo!" and make her giggle a little. The last time he did it, I jumped at her to get a bigger reaction... and my left foot landed squarely on an old screw on the garage floor... !

Rides #37, #42 and #44: Friends, Hills, and the Slimming Effects of Lightning

seth@macrobyte.net — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 19:25:31 GMT

Corinne has been hearing about my lack of updates here on [tw] from her friends, who I think mostly just want more pictures of Lauren (I don't blame them!). I've been much too quiet lately.

I'm going to pay for that quietness, soon. The PMC is in less than two months, and I haven't raised a penny yet. What an idiot.

This particular update, however, is not about Lauren, Corinne, her friends, or the PMC. It's about my riding (and weight loss) over the last month. I'll start with:

Ride #37: Birthday Loop with Steve

Steve Davis came down on May 23rd to ride the storied Birthday Loop with me.

Steve is in fantastic shape, much better for mid-Spring than I've ever known him to be, since we started riding together years ago.

I, on the other hand, was still getting over my cold. I'd only ridden three times in the previous two weeks, and was still coughing quite a bit.

The result: Steve was very patient with me. We did the whole ride, of course, but averages only 17.5 mph. He easily could have handled a 19 mph average, which is quite impressive with all the climbing.

My stats are missing a couple of miles because my bike computer mysteriously shut off for a little while. However, Steve had exactly the same average speed as I did when we were done, so I'm just going to stick with what mine said.

Stats: 52.56 miles (84.62 km) in 3h 0' 0" for an average speed of 17.52 mph (28.20 kph).

Ride #42: Cracked 260

This ride is notable only because I finally cracked 260. That is, my weight finally dropped below it.

I thought that was quite an accomplishment, so I checked my stats for last year. EXACTLY THE SAME DATE!! Oy! Still, last year my weight was only below 260 for two days, then it went back up and stayed there for another month. This year, it's continued going down, and I'm hoping to drop below 250 before the end of the month.

How far can I drop before PMC? This will be my sixth PMC, and I've never been below 250.

Stats: 43.91 miles (70.69 km) in 2h 17' 12" for an average speed of 19.20 mph (30.91 kph).

Ride #44: Lightning Has Struck My Brain!

Sorry, the title for this ride was just a hook to get you to read the story. (Ok ok, I'll stop. I'm sure Sean, at least, is moaning by now...)

This ride was on Sunday, the beginning of our current heat wave. I left the house planning to do the birthday loop again, after spending 45 minutes carefully cleaning up my drivetrain. The first 20 miles were quite hot, but I can handle hot. After the first ten miles, I saw the storm coming in but hoped it was going to pass to the North.

No such luck.

I climbed Cossaduck hearing thunder. Second time this year I've managed to climb it "out of the saddle" from bottom to top. Once again, I forgot to set the lap timer on my bike computer, so I have no idea how much I've improved. (My first trip up the hill this year was a pitiful 4:40!!)

Heard a lot more thunder while I was on Gilliver, but they were still five or six seconds after the flash so I figured I was ok. At that point, I was riding away from the storm.

In the last mile of Route 49, just before the turn onto Wyassup, the sprinkling started and I knew the storm was going to catch me, but now I was in farm country. What was I supposed to do? I kept riding.

On Wyassup, with the thunder rolling almost constantly, I crested one of the hills telling myself "think negative thoughts! Think negative!" But, at the top of one of the two hills (I can't remember which, now, but I think it was the second), everything around me when bright purple! I'm not kidding, I thought for a split second that I'd been struck. There was enough time for me to yell "yi" before my "yikes!" was drowned out in the loudest thunder I've heard in 30 years.

I wasn't hit, obviously, but it must have been cloud-to-cloud right over head. That was exciting.

(When I was quite young, I remember standing at my grandparents back door in Berkley, MA, when lightning struck the back yard. That was some kind of loud, and I've had a love for lightning every since.)

After that, the rain started in earnest and I just rode home. That took about ten miles off the ride, but it was fun. (Now I need to clean my drive train again!)

Stats: 44.67 miles (71.91 km) in 2h 30' 21" for an average speed of 17.82 mph (28.70 kph).

Oh, and I'm now down to 254. :-D

Happy Birthday Michelle & Isaiah Drake

seth@macrobyte.net — Wed, 28 May 2008 00:25:13 GMT

Corinne, Lauren and I went to Isaiah Drake's birthday party on Monday. He's one year old. Monday was actually his mom's (Michelle's) birthday, his is today, but we were mostly celebrating his because it was his first.

I took 134 pictures (good grief), and managed to whittle that down to “only” 104 before uploading them all to Facebook. The flickr set contains a more manageable 55 pictures: I recommend the slideshow.

The party (cookout) was held at Ben & Mandi Isbell's house on the Bradford River. Games, canoeing, lots of food, cute kids, friends, and loads of presents for Isaiah. Ben even started a big bonfire on the ground near the deck (but more than one story below) that made some of the kids a little nervous.

(If you're reading this in email, make sure you see it on the web for the pictures.)

Familial Update, and Grumpy Seth's Advice on Raising a Baby

seth@macrobyte.net — Sat, 03 May 2008 16:04:23 GMT

We're still moving, probably in October. The landlord is still planning to sell this place. It's a little stressful as we've lived here over 9 years (will be ten years in October) and I really like the neighborhood. Still, if we leave the house for more than a few minutes, then we're probably headed for Westerly. Moving over there will save us five or six gallons of gas and many hours of driving every week.

Corinne seems to be looking forward to it. I don't think it's entirely because the kitchen she'll be getting is thrice the size of what we have now, but that's probably a big part of it. ;-)

Business has been decent this year. Back in December, one client sent me some money to pre-pay for some work "to be decided." Work with Bare Bones has been steady, and I finally produced a working (though incomplete) module for YAML.

Shannon is no longer working two jobs. The second job, at a Hallmark (greeting cards) store, was paying minimum wage and only giving her 12 hours per week, so after a few weeks she told them she wouldn't be coming back.

Instead, she's going to school! She got Pell grants and various other forms of financial aid to cover almost all the costs of going to the Connecticut School for Massage Therapy. She started this week. It takes (I think) 18 months to get her certificate, and when she's done she'll finally have a real, employable skill for a job that pays a lot better than retail ever will.

She'll be about half done with her schooling when Mike comes home in January.

Thursday I went to court with her in Waterford for a "status update" on her appeal to get custody back of her son Richie. Richie's father, Dick S., decided to contest it. We went to the court thinking that she was going to walk out with custody papers, and instead all we know is that this is going to take longer than we first thought. (That's good, as we've asked Shannon not to rush this. We're already doing most of the work with Lauren. Neither of us mind that, but we're not ready to add another kid to the house.)

Corinne wanted pizza on Thursday night, so I was going to take Lauren with me to get it from Olympic Pizza in Norwich. Shannon came home from work early because (in her words), she "didn't feel like working," so she went with us. On the way, we had a talk about her relationship with Lauren.

Had very late second thoughts about posting the rest of this, so for now I've taken it out. Sorry...

Nobody's Home

seth@macrobyte.net — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 14:15:55 GMT

My grandparents needed some help with "things," so Ellyn (technically, my aunt... Dad's sister) asked Corinne to go down with her for a week. Originally they were going to drive, but (thankfully) I talked them out of that idea. They flew out Tuesday afternoon, and come back on Tuesday the 22nd.

With Corinne out of the house for a week, I can't sleep at home. (Shannon's 21, her husband won't be home for another nine months, and I don't want anybody getting the wrong idea.) Since I can't stay at home, I suggested they take Lauren with them also. Shannon and I both need to work, but one of us would have to take the week off to watch Lauren full time if she had stayed at home.

Thus, my first tweet of the day, yesterday, "Woke up alone in a strange house in a small bed, far from home." (The bed was in Ellyn's & Gary's guest room.)

For most of the week they're gone I'll be working from home, but mornings from Thursday to Saturday are at Rich's house. He and his family are out of town, so I'm making friends with his gigantic, 30-inch Cinema Display and officially Getting Stuff Done™. In the afternoons I'm heading home again, going for a ride (weather is PERFECT this week), then working at home until late evening when I head back into Westerly for the night.

Yeah, I'm missing my girls. :-(

Corinne and Ellyn both report that Lauren was a nightmare on the plane down there. She screamed more often than she was quiet, and just wouldn't settle down. She slept great Tuesday night, but terribly Wednesday night and awoke everyone except Gramma. When Corinne and I last spoke, Lauren was screaming in the background.

I think my girls miss me, too. ;-)

Shannon's son Richie was supposed to be up here now for a three day visit, but that was canceled at the last minute. So Shannon is bored, but has Saturday off and is going bowling with her friend Jen.

Quick status update on Shannon: she is now working a second job at a Hallmark store, and can't seem to decide between starting a cleaning business (simply because her Mom says she could make good money doing it) and going to school for massage therapy (which is what she really wants to do). I'm strongly in favor of the massage therapy (because, as I said, it's what she really wants to do), but she also wants to get her son back. If she's working one or two jobs and going to school for massage therapy, there won't be much time left for her kids. I'm hoping she'll just keep on keeping on until Mike comes home in January.

Toddling Along...

seth@macrobyte.net — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 19:16:16 GMT

Sunday afternoon while we drove up to Norwich to pick up pizza, Shannon and I "discussed" the fact that Lauren wasn't walking yet on her own. I said she'd walk when she was ready, and that it wouldn't be long. Probably this week.

After we returned home, she went down to take a shower, and I watched Lauren. Corinne joined us in the livingroom for a little while and we talked about it. Corinne agreed with me, and agreed that Lauren would be walking very soon. She sat down on the floor and we worked on it with Lauren for a few minutes.

Shannon came back up, and I pulled out the camera. "I think she's going to walk now." Shannon and Corinne sat down on the living room floor, but before I could even turn on the camera Lauren had already walked from Corinne to Shannon. D'oh!!

Not Sure About This

Ooh! A Toy!

Catch Me!

I Love This Here Piece of Floor

That Doesn't Look
Like a Carrot

So, these are not pictures of her very first steps, but they are pictures of her first steps on the day she first did it. Good enough, I hope.

On Monday I made a video of it, which you can see right here. It's very short, just 16 seconds.

(As always, if the pictures don't show up in email, go to the web site.)

Four Long Years

seth@macrobyte.net — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 19:39:40 GMT

It has been four years today since Shane died. (Sure have been a lot of changes in our lives since then!)

Sometimes it seems like it was just yesterday. That's both good and bad. We can still remember the sound of his voice, his devilish smile, the way he and his mom loved each other. But we also remember the pain of that day, and I particularly remember how close I came to losing Corinne at the same time, and the sound of her heart breaking when she screamed.

March 12th reopens wounds every year, sheds new tears every year, rains every year. I hate this day.

On the other hand, Shane's loss is always there, in the background. The anniversary is the day when it all comes to the front. This is the day when we talk about it the most, when we deal with it directly. It's also the day when we talk about him the most. That, at least, is a good thing.

Still, we hate this day.

Happy First Birthday, Lauren!

seth@macrobyte.net — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 03:35:02 GMT

This beautiful, happy, silly, little girl is one year old, as of today. It's almost impossible to believe.

We had the birthday party at the ecclesial hall in Westerly, today. Angi Drake decorated for us, and Rachel Carlson (Corinne's friend from work) made dozens of cupcakes and a special "teddy bear cake" for Lauren, which she demolished.

She got lots of presents from all of her "aunts and uncles." I'm making notes about who gave her gifts that make lots of noise. (I will repay...) ;-)

Possibly the best part of the day was that Shannon had permission to go to the party... in Rhode Island! She now has permission to cross the line with us on Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. Yay!!

Most of the ecclesia was there, and I got some good shots (not just of Lauren). Check out the full set of pics in the flickr set, Laurens First Birthday Party.

Life, the Universe, and Everything

seth@macrobyte.net — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 15:18:37 GMT

Shannon started working last week at the Staples in New London.

Shannon's mom came up for the week with Shannon's son, Richie. For about half the week Richie was here with us, the other half he was with her mom. She also gave Shannon her manual-transmission Jeep. We're working on teaching Shannon to drive it. Shannon doesn't stall at every intersection, and she doesn't panic every time there's a car approaching on the right.

I have the flu.

The Blazer and Toyota are both on the road again. Knock knock.

Doris Sternberg, an old family friend and my mom's surrogate-mother for the last 20 years, died last night. She was quite old, and was loved by pretty much everybody. (I remember picking Aunt Doris up at her apartment every Wednesday night when I was a teenager in NH, to drive her to Bible class.) She'll be missed, terribly, but we know we'll see her again.

Lauren and Shannon have started to come to an understanding. Shannon's forcing it a little, but babies adapt very quickly. All Shannon really cares about right now is that Lauren start calling her "mommy" ASAP. Sigh.

She's even trying to compete with us for Lauren's attention, though I'm not sure she's aware of it. (And, it's a very one-sided competition.) Example: yesterday Lauren had some toy in her hand, and was holding it out to me. Every time I put out my hand so she could give it to me, she'd snatch it back and smile devilishly. Shannon saw it happen and immediately started asking, "Can I have it? Lauren, can I have it?" Lauren gave it to her, and Shannon showered her with praise and thank-you's. ::shrug::

Corinne is thinking about Shane even more than usual, these days, as we approach the anniversary. It all starts with the Super Bowl (which, in 2004, was when we started seeing a lot of him again). She went through a really bad patch last week when Richie was here and she was feeling overwhelmed, but she's better now.

I plan to start asking for donations for the PMC software auctions this month.

I'm sorry that updates have been so few and far between this year. I barely have time to live this life, never mind write about it.

I've Had a Day... But Shannon is Home

seth@macrobyte.net — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 15:57:19 GMT

I woke up Wendesday morning about 1 second before the alarm, at 6:44:59 am.

Corinne had asked me not to wake her (or Lauren). Lauren has had a really bad cold, and I had to leave at about 8 so "please just let us both sleep in."

Did some reading. At 7:30 I tried to wake Corinne anyway. We needed to pick up the pickup (heh) at the garage, so she'd have a car to meet us in Norwich at noon. "Mom and Dad will bring me," she mumbled, eyes still closed, before rolling over and going back to sleep.

I called Dad. He would have their car up in Providence all morning. So, at 7:45 I left the house on foot and walked the mile to the garage, and drove the yota home. Corinne was up when I returned, and clearly felt pretty guilty about not getting up. "I thought that must be what you had done," she said when i told her I had walked. I wasn't upset with her, though. She and Shane are/were both very difficult to awaken in the morning.

After switching Lauren's car seat into the Toyota and topping off the Blazer's radiator (there's a leak in the cooling system, somewhere), I left in the Blazer at about 8:25.

Corinne called me at some point. She told me that Steve, our landlord, had been to the house this morning. With a real estate agent. They are going to sell the house, and we'll have to move. We've been here for about 9 1/2 years. OY!

Arrived at Quinlan Cottage (the halfway house where Shannon lived for the last five months) at a little after 10. She was out on the porch with a couple other girls, waiting for me. "Yay!" she yelled, clapping.

The four of us (including the two that were on the porch with her) carried her stuff out to the car. Good grief! She went to prison with nothing but the clothes on her back, and I literally packed the truck full of her stuff for the trip home.

We left at about 10:30.

Shannon and I talked for a little while, and I had her read a letter that Corinne wrote that explained her feelings about last week's "issues." After she read the letter, she said, "I'm going to make you guys proud. No more screwing up, I'm tired of people always being disappointed with me."

Stopped at a highway rest area to get something to eat (and pit stop). Shannon's treat! ;-)

I called Corinne (or she called me, I don't remember) to tell her we'd be in Norwich at about noon.

At a few minutes after 12, we pulled into the parking lot at the Norwich parole office. There was a guy there getting into his car... very slowly. Very, very slowly. Clearly he was waiting for us to get out so he could say something. So, we got out, and he said, "Are you here for parole?" Yes. "Ok. Because you can only park here if you're here for parole." Yes, we're really here for parole. I pointed at Shannon.

So I turned it around on him. "Are you Mark?"

Heh. He looked very confused for a couple seconds. "Ohhhh... oh! You're here to see me." He looked at his watch. "And you're right on time. I'm heading out to Middletown to pick someone up." (So in other words, he was leaving right as we were supposed to show up.) "Go home, and I'll be there in a few hours."

After searching the parking lot for the Toyota, we left hoping to find her on our way home. Instead, we found her in the next parking lot up the hill, just pulling into a space. Hugs all around, then I explained what happened and Corinne and I switched trucks for the drive home so Corinne and Shannon could chat a little. I predicted that Ossifer Sarsfeld would show up at our house around 4.

Arrived at home, lugged all the stuff into the house, had a late lunch, and put Lauren down for her nap.

I was trying to work in my office (in the basement) at 4:20 when I heard the loud knock on the front door. Told shannon he was here, and ran up to answer the door then found Corinne back in the bedroom.

Shannon is not under normal parole, she's under a program called "Transitional Supervision" (TS). She's still technically a prisoner. She's not allowed to leave the state or drive without permission. Not allowed to be near drugs or firearms. Any violation results in immediate return to the clink. He said he will ask his superiors about an exception to allow her to go to Westerly (where our 'church' is) thrice a week, but he was pretty clear that she woudln't be able to take the job she'd been (almost) promised at the Westerly Staples.

She's also required to get a job. So the standard policy is: you must have a job, but you're not allowed to drive. Nice.

We'll find out about the "exception" (to allow Shannon into Westerly) next Wednesday, when she has her first weekly appointment with him in Norwich.

After he left I spent a few hours working on my class, had dinner with Shannon and Lauren (Corinne never eats dinner at a regular hour, even though she cooks it for me almost every day), then left for class (where I was teaching) at 7:15. Class started at 8, finished at 9, and I was home at 10 and in bed a little after 11.

As I said: I had a day. In fact it feels more like two or three days jammed into one.

Our Little Letter M

seth@macrobyte.net — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 22:01:42 GMT

We lost a special little cat today. Her name was Xodus.

Officially, you'd pronounce that the same as Exodus. We tended to call her Zodus, or Zodie-Pop.

Why the weird name? Birmans are traditionally named according to the year of birth: they're all 'X' cats one year, 'Y' cats the next year, then 'Z', then back to 'A', etc. Xodus was seven years old.

In her first year she was the New England region's Best Birman Kitten. We have the ribbons and the plaque to prove it. The picture above comes from that first year. That sweet face and the bright blue eyes melted the judge's hearts the moment they saw her. The pronounced 'M' on her forehead, the perfect head shape, the classic Birman stance, and the thick, deep coat all helped her to win over and over again.

Later we found that she wasn't the healthiest cat in the house. She went into heat in "stealth mode," and got pregnant (with the willing assistance of Xerxes) more than once without warning us ahead of time. She was a breeder, so getting pregnant wouldn't normally be an issue, but she usually had trouble with her litters and we lost a lot of her kittens. We finally had her spayed a couple years ago (in fact, we stopped breeding altogether, and got them all 'fixed').

Corinne has always said that Xodus was a great nap cat. They'd snuggle up in the afternoons and Xodus would just lay quietly under the covers, against Corinne's side, until nap time was over. The other cats were never as good, they'd sometimes wake her up too soon. Never Xodus, so she tended to get a little preferential treatment in the afternoons.

The same could not be said for Xodus at night. Instead of cuddling up with us and sleeping quietly, she would always come crying to me, head-butt me, and make her signature cry: "MMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmm!" That sound and the mark on her forehead produced the nickname, "our little letter M."

Another of our cats, "CP", took a strong dislike to Xodus. Being a much larger cat (she takes after her father, Xerxes), she would chase her into a closet or under the couch, and then stand sentry for hours to make suer she didn't come out. We'd put a stop to it whenever we saw it, but could never teach CP to just leave her alone and we couldn't guard Xodus all day long. For the last couple of years, she spent a little too much time hiding from the other cats.

We came home early this afternoon to the sound of a cat in loud distress. She wasn't making the "m" sound now, but I knew the voice. At first I thought that she was just tired of being hassled by CP. I lifted the couch with one arm, grabbed Xodus with the other, and brought her to the bedroom so she'd be ready for Corinne's nap time. She ran for the edge of the bed to jump down, and I immediately knew something else was wrong: her back legs weren't working.

Corinne was quite upset when I told her — of course — and asked me to please call the vet. The office was closed (Sunday afternoon before Christmas in a small town? Duh.) but Cheryl called back about an hour later and told me to meet her at the office at 3:30.

The diagnosis was a (likely) blood clot in a vessel that runs along the spine (aorta?), about 3/4 of the distance from her head to her tail. She had no feeling in her legs or her tail, and her feet were cold. Treatment would be very expensive, would not reverse the damage which was already done, and was not guaranteed to even clear the clot. Also, many cats (and dogs) who get these clots will get another one a few months later.

Little Xodus was obviously in pain. She hadn't stopped meowing since we came home.

I made the tough decision, told Xodus how sorry I was, and stroked her head and her little M until it was over just minutes later.

I Blame Mom

seth@macrobyte.net — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 14:56:56 GMT

Corinne went to Westerly this morning with Lauren (for class), just a minute or two before this snowstorm started. Oops. An hour later, and the ground is already covered. She's on her way home again.

Those who know my Mom will totally understand this entry's title. ;-)

I Am A Comedy of Errors

seth@macrobyte.net — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 17:09:42 GMT

Yesterday afternoon I went for a ~31 mile bike ride. Due to weather and travel, it was my first ride in eight days.

When I ride, I put a cheap cell phone, my debit card, and an old license in a zip-lock bag, and put the bag in a jersey pocket. I can pick up Gu, Gatorade or a new tube if needed, or I can call Corinne for a pick-up. If I'm knocked out (as happened nine years ago), the old license will tell people who I am.

After a ride, I put the bag on the shelf by my bike. I'm all sweaty, so pulling everything out of the bag at that moment would defeat the purpose of the bag.

Well, this morning I awoke Lauren at 7:20 so we could drive up to see her dad (Mike) during the morning visiting hours, and still be home in time for a few hours of work and another short ride. First stop: the Dunkin Donuts right up the street, for coffee. I waited in line for ten minutes (grr), and then — at the window — realized I didn't have my wallet. They know me, and told me to just take it.

Drove back to the house, grabbed my wallet from the shelf next to my bike (in the garage), and left again. Corinne just shook her head. I could hear her thinking, "That's my husband!"

We needed gas, but were running a little late so decided I'd go back to pay for the coffee this afternoon, and just head for the prison in Somers, CT. Plenty of gas stations on the way (the Dunkin Donuts is at a gas statiion).

The first, just three miles from the house, was closed for renovations. So, we continued to Norwich and stopped at a big, new Citgo. Grabbed my wallet, hopped out to pump the gas, and as I opened it I had something like a daydream, a vision, of my debit card (and only credit card) waiting patiently in a zip-lock bag. On the shelf. Next to my bike.

Sigh. We'll try again tomorrow morning.

(At breakfast yesterday morning, Rich argued with me that I should always keep a little cash in my wallet. "Don't need it," I said, "I just use my card for everything." D'oh!)

Visit with Shannon, and Her Therapist

seth@macrobyte.net — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 20:54:51 GMT

Corinne, Lauren and I drove to Norwalk for a visit with Shannon and her therapist, yesterday.

Though she still hates the whole experience, she has decided (or perhaps "realized") that discipline and structure are good for her. The therapist was there to express Shannon's hope that we'll provide some of that when she comes home.

She's coming home, we think, on December 26th. That's the date she's been given, and will most likely be under a program called "Transitional Supervision." Essentially, she's still a ward of the state. She'll be required to have and keep a full time job, and will be monitored very closely. But most important is that she'll be here, with us and her daughter.

Anyway, she's worried that she'll fall back into her old habits when she comes home. She has no resistance to peer pressure, and said that the first time she hangs out with her old friends she'll end up smoking pot (or worse).

We all agreed to a few simple rules. First, her friends can't come to the house. Our home is a sanctuary: ours first, and hers as long as she chooses to live here. Second, she's going to take care of her kids (both Lauren and her son, Richie) when she's home, and she won't bring the kids anywhere that they "shouldn't be" (such as where her friends might be drinking or smoking pot). Third, she's going to do what she can to support herself and her kids with the money from her job, and will work to pay off their old debts. We'll help her figure out a budget once we know what her income looks like. If she can also help with Mike's ongoing expenses while he's still 'away', she will.

The therapist rubbed me wrong at first, but we both relaxed eventually and it was a good meeting.

Afterwards, we gave Shannon a ride to Staples so she could show Lauren off to all of her coworkers. (Thus these pictures of her and Lauren in front of the store.) Then another quick ride to the Starbucks parking lot. From there she walked the mile and a half back to the halfway house, pushing the stroller and lugging the diaper bag, so she could have Lauren to herself for a couple hours. (We weren't supposed to drive her at all, but it was a few miles from the Therapist's office to Staples. The traffic was heavy and it was sprinkling.)

I worked from Starbucks for ninety minutes while Corinne ran over to Carters for some baby clothes (immediately after telling Shannon that we never need to buy clothes for Lauren because others have been so generous). We grabbed some lunch at Stew Leonard's, picked up Lauren at a few minutes after 2 PM, and were home again a little after 4 PM.

Another Wedding Reception for Jed and Alycia

seth@macrobyte.net — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 02:09:19 GMT

Since hardly anyone from the East coast made it to their wedding, we put on a wedding receiption for Jed and Alycia this afternoon. Jed showed lots of slides. (Strangely, Eric didn't mock him all the way through it like he did me when I showed many of the same slides four months ago.) After the slide show, food. Lots and lots of food.

Corinne did most of the cooking (of course). I was frustrated when packing all the food into the Blazer because I was sure there was way too much. (There was more than we needed, but it wasn't "way too much" like has happened before.) The most popular item was, without any doubt, the seafood chowder-like soup. Others cooked also: Mandi, Mom, Dee... maybe Angi? Ellyn? I don't know. Corinne cooked a LOT. She and my Mom both did a lot of work in the planning and preparation for this party… and it really did go off beautifully.

(Brietta Harper will be happy to read...) Feeling inspired after the reception, I've finally uploaded a lot more photos from the trip out to BC in June for the wedding. About 140 more, in fact. I still have another 92 that need to be reviewed, cleaned up and tagged, but this made a huge dent in the pile.

Originally, I didn't upload them because I wanted to make a nice book of photos for their wedding present. We haven't had the money for that kind of thing, so the photos just sat on my drive. Better to share them, so there they are.

I took another big "roll" today. Hopefully I'll find motivation to upload them soon. Believe it or not, there are even pictures of Lauren in there! (No, really!!)

Update: Here they are.

Look Out Kitties, Here She Comes!

seth@macrobyte.net — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 18:45:43 GMT

Friday night at the hotel room, Lauren figured out how to crawl. Our first reaction was "uh oh", but really it was very exciting.

What prompted the crawl? A piece of pizza! Clearly a child after Corinne's own heart. (Ok, the pizza was wrapped in shiny aluminum foil, but still...)

The full story is actually on Flickr, because I managed to get a picture of her just before she crawled, and another one seventeen seconds later when she took her first, uh... "crawl-step."

I must get a movie of this tonight, while she's still very hesitant and deliberate. There's nothing else like it.

Jed and Alycia Are In Town

seth@macrobyte.net — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 12:39:36 GMT

My brother and his wife are out here visiting for a couple of weeks. Haven't seen him (or really even spoken with him) since the wedding back in June (which I'm surprised to discover I wrote NOTHING about, so I can't link to it!), so it's great to see both of them. They're staying at Mom's and Dad's house, but yesterday morning they came over for a few hours and had lunch, and then we all went to Gary's and Ellyn's house last night for dinner.

The biggest thing for me was Lauren meeting Jed... but in the end seemed to be much more impressed with Alycia than with him. Alycia can make a "clicking" sound with her mouth that makes Lauren smile every time.

Had a great time at the Schlag's last night. In attendance: Jed and Alycia, Mom and Dad, Corinne, Lauren and Myself, Ben and Mandi, Stan and Windy (Ben's parents, up for two weeks from Houston), Carrie, Mark and Tory (friends of Ellyn), and of course our hosts Katie, Tom, Gary and Ellyn. Food was good, conversation and "play" was even better.

Unfortunately, Lauren has a cold so Corinne took her home early. After a long conversation with Stan and Dad, I went downstairs (their basement is set up a bit like a 50's diner) and had another good chat about some fairly lofty subjects (spiritual life vs. religion, evolution, etc.). Then we made up for it by playing "spin the quarter" for at least 45 minutes.

Later, Dad drove me home.

What Should Have Been

seth@macrobyte.net — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 15:33:16 GMT

Shane should have turned 27 today. Instead, we just miss him, and try to remember all the moments.

Corinne said he would have been old today. "That's not old," I said, but I was wrong. "For my son," she replied, "that's old."

Some things are too big to understand. But, we still love him, and still miss him.

Thirty Five

seth@macrobyte.net — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 19:45:15 GMT

thirty five dimples in the icing
holes for the wax
with the wicks
with the flames
that flicker and burn
as I start my next run ’round the sun

Actually, that's not true at all, there was no cake today. ;-)

My treat today was a couple of hours sampling all of the delicious, local fare assembled at A Taste of Mystic.

Like last year at ATOM, my favorite was the raw oysters. Weird, huh? I'd never tried them before last year. In fact, I remember gagging when I saw my Grampa eat them (or actually, raw Quahogs) when I was little. Now my taste for them is limited only by the money I'm willing to spend on them!

My least favorite was the clam chowder. YUCK! It tasted like nothing more than warm cream with potatoes.

Anyway, today marks the start of my thirty sixth chasing-of-my-own-tail around the sun. No, I'm not sure what I'll do with it if I ever catch it.

(Oh, I was going to write something deeper than this, about all the stuff that's changed and that I have learned in the last year. But one thing I've learned, finally, is that I don't have time for everything. The list of changes is LONG, so this will have to do!)

Like a Leaf in the Wind

seth@macrobyte.net — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 19:16:15 GMT

We left the birthday party after cleaning up the Carousel Building, at mid-to-late afternoon.

Traffic was very heavy on Route 95 South, as it almost always is in the summer time on a weekend. This being a long weekend, the traffic was extra heavy.

There was a pickup truck about five hundred feet ahead of us. We were in the right lane, driving sixty-five mph. Corinne and I were talking.

Something looked odd about the truck, something was moving around. Before I could figure out what it was, a double-bed-sized mattress flew out of the back, fourteen feet into the air, and floated along for a few seconds like the first leaf of autumn. It was very cool. And crazy dangerous.

The mattress floated over the cars in the high speed lane, spinning gracefully, and landed in the grass in the median against the guardrail.

"Wow!" I yelled. Corinne babbled.

He clearly didn't know anything had happened, so I sped up to tell him. Before I could get there, the car to his left "explained" it to him. He pulled over, and I asked Corinne if she thought I should help him.

Normally, I would just pull over to help without thinking about it. This time I had my wife and (someone else's) kid in the car. On a busy highway.

Corinne babbled some more. I pulled over, way into the breakdown lane, and backed up slowly towards the pickup. Traffic zoomed and roared past us.

He was a college kid. The first thing he said to me when I jumped out and walked back to his truck was, "Where did it go?" I pointed out how far back it had flown away, and described the scene to him.

"My roommates warned me that would happen."

"Oh, you mean because you hadn't tied it down AT ALL?" I didn't ask. Instead I just nodded.

"What should I do?"

I gave him three bungie cords out of the blazer to tie down the box springs, and told him to go up to the next exit (6A), turn around to go North back to exit 7, turn around again to go South, and then pull over into the median near the mattress to recover it.

He thanked me, shook my hand, and we drove away. I immediately decided he was too, uh... well, I decided he still needed help, so I led him all the way back to the mattress.

(Aside: I must say that pulling out of the high speed lane of a busy highway, onto the grassy median, is not for the faint of heart. Whoosh.)

By the time he pulled up behind us, I had the mattress in the air over my head. He ran around to release the bungie, I threw the mattress on top and passed the bungie back over. He couldn't hook it properly, so I ran around to do it for him.

After thanking me a couple too many times, his final pair of statements were equally amusing.

First, "I'm not going to tell my parents about this."

Second, "What do I owe you for the bungies?"

Just don't get yourself or anyone else killed on the way home today, buddy, and we'll call it even.

Eighty Laps

seth@macrobyte.net — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 18:55:18 GMT

My father's father (Arthur Dilingham, Sr.) has a beautiful birth date: 7 • 27 • 27. It's symmetrical and palindromic, and also happens to mean that this summer marked the end of his eightieth lap 'round the sun.

Saturday his wife, his children, his children's children, his children's children's children, and a very (very, very) small percentage of his friends and extended family from around the world gathered in his honor to tell him just two things: "Happy Birthday," and "We Love You."

The party was held at Goddard Park in Warwick, RI, at the old Carousel Building.

There was a very cool tribute video assembled by my cousin Tiffany and her husband Josh (with, I think, the aid of the rest of the NH contingent of Dillinghams and their kin). It included pictures and/or video of most of the family, and a stirring, deeply emotional, recorded message from Barry Van Heerden in South Africa. (I've heard Grampa sing Barry's praise many times over the years, but I had no idea that he looked at Grampa as a father and mentor.)

Corinne shed a few tears when she saw Shane's picture in the video. Tif had written to me in advance to make sure it was ok. (Of course it was! Including and remembering him is always better than the alternative.)

They even included at least one picture of Lauren in there. That was cool, especially as Gramma and Grampa have both treated Lauren as their latest great granddaughter.

There was also an open mic on the stage, where we were all supposed to tell stories. Unfortunately, though some of us inherited some of Grampa's storytelling talents, none of us will eve be The Master Storyteller that he is. So, most of the stories were told by him! Three times he (literally) lept onto the stage to tell another story, and then hopped back off it again to retake his seat. (Eighty years old, hoppping onto and off of a two-foot-high stage! He's spry.)

He told the Bert and I classic, "I am Gagnon, Champion Moose Caller" story, but (more importantly) he also told some of the TRUE funny stories from his life, including the one about the skunk in the ventilation system at his school in Dighton, MA. I think his school principal probably went to his grave wondering who did that.

I have tons of stories I could have told, but couldn't think of the best ones until after we left so I never took the stage. Had I remembered, I certainly would have recounted the trip to Florida with him, Jed, Dad and myself (I wasn't ten, yet), to move Aunt Marrion. The highlights of that drive to FL included:

Arthur Fiedler's Greatest Hits (Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B!)
the brain teaser about the man with three sons
the brain teaser about the egg-laying chickens
Dad and Grampa acting like it was hot the moment we crossed the state line
Aunt Marrion freaking out when Jed and I happened to be in the vicinity of Grampa's wallet
feeding the seagulls on the beach

Everybody picks on Dillinghams for being... well, Dillinghams. Smart, knowing it (all of it), easily brought to tears, always having an opinion, and "talking until we think of something to say." Though Gramma had as much of a hand in forming us as did Grampa, there's no doubting the source of those particular characteristics. :-)

But, as much as we tease him and each other for those things — endlessly — we love him for them, too. We're a big family (wink, wink), and he’s been the patriarch for as long as most (any!) of us have been alive. (So it's not that we think he's perfect, or pretend that he is. It's that hearing him speak yesterday, and hearing everyone else speak about him, it's clear that he inspires us to aspire to perfection, and we're all better for it.)

Happy Birthday, Grampa. I love you, we all love you.

Happy Birthday, Corinne!

seth@macrobyte.net — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 19:14:56 GMT

As of today, Corinne has circumnavigated old Sol fifty times.

When we first started "seeing each other", our age difference was something of a concern to some folks. One lovely bloke actually went totally over the top, making a huge issue out of it, as if it was actually, morally wrong for a man to marry a woman who has seen the backside of the sun fifteen more times than he has.

The truth is, age has never mattered much to me. The things that matter to me: Who are you? Where are you heading? (Or, "Where is your head at?") What makes you laugh, or cry? Show me some passion. Can I make you smile and laugh? Do you care about what's right more than what Feels right? What (person, place, idea) is more important than yourself? Can you follow? Can you lead? What do you think of my own answers to those questions? If you haven't thought about some of them, are you willing to?

In my teens and early twenties, I never believed I'd be married. I wasted years chasing an imaginary relationship with the wrong girl, but even then I was pretty sure marriage just wasn't in my future. I thought a lot about it, and prayed about it, but I always prayed for the wrong things. Then in walked Corinne, and everything changed almost instantly.

I remember thinking (and saying) in our early days together that fifteen years isn't a big deal. "When I'm 35, she'll be 50. We'll both be old."

Now, again (and as always), I find that I was wrong. In some ways we've both aged dramatically in the ten years we've been married... but I look at this woman and how she sparkles when we're together, and I think, "I can't believe I ever thought we'd be old by now. This isn't old. That's a young smile, and those twinkles are ageless."

I can't really tell if I'm writing about our anniversary (10th, just passed a couple weeks ago), or her birthday. She's such a big part of me that our anniversary and her birthday mean almost the same thing to me.

You, my dear, are blessed with many loving friends and family (something I know you never expected) and you are a great blessing to those around you: me in particular! And Lauren! And Mike and Shannon! And your "sistahs". And the list goes on and on...

Happy birthday, baby. I love you. Here's to fifty more fiftieth birthdays (and that's just the warm-up round).