Truer Words - A Journal

Our First Attempt at Camping

seth@macrobyte.net — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 15:09:17 GMT

This was quite a weekend.

Occasionally, our ecclesia goes camping together. It's not every year, but probably 3 out of 4 years, in mid-June. Wanting to share new experiences with Lauren, I decided to give it a go this year.

I've never camped. Maybe 30 years ago, when I was little, Jed and I used to camp out in our back yard, but otherwise I've never camped. That's ridiculous.

We all got spots near each other at the Hopeville Pond State Park (thanks to Ellyn for organizing the whole weekend). Not being a camper, I have no tent so Mark and Michelle loaned us theirs, and an air mattress. Gary and Ellyn loaned us a couple of sleeping bags, and Lauren and I headed over there Friday evening.

Mark helped me set up the tent (he wasn't staying over night) and pump up the air mattress, then we all settled in around the campfire. At about 10:30 I said goodnight to everyone because she was falling asleep on my lap and I wanted to let her sleep in the tent. After a diaper change and lots of fun taking out my contacts near total darkness, she was curled up like a kitten on one of the sleeping bags, fast asleep.

That lasted for a little over an hour. More than enough time for me to fall into a deep sleep.

Then, she woke up. Happy. VERY VERY HAPPY. She came over to me. She patted my face. She laid her head down on my chest and said "aaaaahhhhhhh", then went back to sleep for three minutes. Then she kissed my cheek and slept with her head on my arm... for a few minutes. Then she laid down completely on top of me and slept for a few more minutes. Then she tried to get into the suitcases.

This went on for hours. She wouldn't settle down, and would cry when I try to put her back on her own sleeping bag. Otherwise, she was perfectly happy... but also totally wide awake and unwilling to let me sleep.

At 3:45 AM I finally gave up. By 4, we were both back in the truck and headed home.

I think if I were ever facing torture, I could handle some pain, but they'd break me in a day or two with sleep deprivation.

I/we slept until late morning, then drove back to the camp site. Saturday night we didn't even try: just went home, got a good night's sleep, and went back again Sunday morning.

I'm glad we tried, and I hope we can try again next year when she's a year older.

Happy Birthday Michelle & Isaiah Drake

seth@macrobyte.net — Wed, 28 May 2008 01:25:13 GMT

Corinne, Lauren and I went to Isaiah Drake's birthday party on Monday. He's one year old. Monday was actually his mom's (Michelle's) birthday, his is today, but we were mostly celebrating his because it was his first.

I took 134 pictures (good grief), and managed to whittle that down to “only” 104 before uploading them all to Facebook. The flickr set contains a more manageable 55 pictures: I recommend the slideshow.

The party (cookout) was held at Ben & Mandi Isbell's house on the Bradford River. Games, canoeing, lots of food, cute kids, friends, and loads of presents for Isaiah. Ben even started a big bonfire on the ground near the deck (but more than one story below) that made some of the kids a little nervous.

(If you're reading this in email, make sure you see it on the web for the pictures.)

Happy First Birthday, Lauren!

seth@macrobyte.net — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 04:35:02 GMT

This beautiful, happy, silly, little girl is one year old, as of today. It's almost impossible to believe.

We had the birthday party at the ecclesial hall in Westerly, today. Angi Drake decorated for us, and Rachel Carlson (Corinne's friend from work) made dozens of cupcakes and a special "teddy bear cake" for Lauren, which she demolished.

She got lots of presents from all of her "aunts and uncles." I'm making notes about who gave her gifts that make lots of noise. (I will repay...) ;-)

Possibly the best part of the day was that Shannon had permission to go to the party... in Rhode Island! She now has permission to cross the line with us on Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. Yay!!

Most of the ecclesia was there, and I got some good shots (not just of Lauren). Check out the full set of pics in the flickr set, Laurens First Birthday Party.

Gone for the Weekend

seth@macrobyte.net — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 13:50:17 GMT

We'll be gone for the weekend, as of noon today.

Every year all of the ecclesias in New England get together like one big ecclesia in early October. This year — for the first time, as far as I know — it was turned into a full (study and social) weekend in Massachusetts.

This is, in fact, one of the reasons that Jed and Alycia chose to come out here at this particular time. Looks like it's going to be a great time.

I'm sincerely hoping that the place we're staying has absolutely no internet access. In fact a complete lack of phones would be great, and a good stiff wind to prevent smoke signals and carrier pigeons would be perfect. However, that's not very likely, so I imagine I won't be able to stay entirely offline the whole weekend.

("Just don't bring your laptop, Seth," I hear people muttering. Pipe down, you.)

Well and Weirdly Met

seth@macrobyte.net — Mon, 21 May 2007 01:14:39 GMT

RailsConf 2007 was good. I'm glad I went, and I believe I pulled from it — mainly from the other attendees — exactly what I wanted.

It's no surprise, of course, that the best part of the weekend was finally meeting and hanging out with Jim and Sean. Exactly as it was with Greg last year (who I missed this year (but not as much as Corinne and Lauren!) ... lousy timing on the pregnancy, Greg and Kt!), we hung out and chatted as if we've been doing exactly that for many years. Which we have, of course, but only virtually. This was our first meeting, and it was a good one.

The second weirdest experience of the weekend was meeting John Gruber's twin. He hasn't said anything publicly, but he confirms that he has seen it, some of his friends are calling the other guy, "Fake John Gruber," and John referred to it as Very Weird. Rich (who has known JG far longer than I have) agreed the similarity was eerie. They really were identical, in the sense of identical twins. Just as identical twins have little differences that help you tell them apart, these two are not identical in every little detail... but it was still weird.

However, the number one weirdest part of the weekend was that Sevin Sayers was here! (Ok, his name isn't really Sevin Sayers, but he's being very weird about this and wanted his name removed from the site. So it's something *like* Sevin Sayers. (Let's just say there's a reason I haven't seen ‘Sevin’ in years.)) He was completely out of context, as though my life's threads were suddenly exchanging objects or pointers in some way that surely indicated heap corruption and would result in an OS shutdown (kernel panic!) any second.

I first saw ‘Sevin’ on Friday morning, but never really thought it was him, just looked and sounded a bit like him. Then again that evening, but it was just after I met John's dopplegänger so I decided my brain was having a little more fun with me. When I saw him for the third time on Saturday, I stared at him for a few seconds trying to find the subtle differences that would make him not look like ‘Sevin’ anymore.

He finally looked back at me, and immediately looked very confused. "Seth?!? What are you doing here?"

"Right. Funny you should ask that."

Crazy, Crazier, Craziest Days

seth@macrobyte.net — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 17:38:54 GMT

I already mentioned that this weekend is the anniversary. That makes it, officially, the most emotionally demanding and draining weekend of the year, every year (followed by Shane's birthday, Corinne's birthday, Mother's Day, and Thanksgiving).

Here's what else has been piled up on this weekend, in life's attempt to drive us crazy:

Shannon's son Richie (two and a half) and her Mom are visiting from North Carolina. Richie is staying here for the weekend. He's a delight, but he's still a two year old... and that adds a layer of craziness to an already crazy weekend.
One of our cats, Xodus, vanished without a trace at some time on Sunday. These cats never go outside, and Xodus was just spayed a week ago Saturday. She has never tried to escape before, and has never vanished for more than a couple of hours (usually by hiding under some furniture). We're totally stumped! Of course, considering the weekend, it would have to be one of Corinne's favorite cats. Obviously.
With family here, the Deane's have had this crazy schedule because everybody wants to see the baby and "wish them well" for what's coming tomorrow...
The big court date is tomorrow (Tuesday). I've described it as a brick wall that we see approaching, and which we know we're going to hit. We can't avoid it, have no idea what's going to happen, but at least we had time to think and prepare for it. If only we could see what's on the other side!
Today we took "temporary guardianship" of little Lauren Deane. The papers are filed with the probate court, and everything seems to be in order. If Mike and Shannon (God Forbid) both go to prison, at least the baby will have a loving home.

Notice that we really have very little control over most of this crazy weekend. The two biggest things (anniversary and sentencing) are totally out of our control, we wouldn't (and couldn't) keep Shannon from her family for any reason, and we agreed months ago that we'd take care of this baby if the need arose.

But wait, there's more! Last night, as we were turning the house upside down trying to find Xodus, Mike and Shannon asked us if we'd be Lauren's "godparents." Though the timing and wording were somewhat awkward, the thought they expressed — that if something ever happens to them, they want us to raise Lauren as our own — was very touching. We agreed, of course. Then we continued turning the house upside down.

With so much stress, and so many things (this weekend) that I must "accept that I can not change," I decided the best thing for me was a bike ride. So I went out for 32 miles. My speed was somewhere between molasses and cold honey.

There's nothing like the cyclist's high to help you enjoy your ride on the tornado.

Happy New Year, One and All

seth@macrobyte.net — Mon, 01 Jan 2007 16:22:11 GMT

2006 was a good year for me and mine, in many ways.

To all of my family near and far, to my ecclesia here and worldwide, to all of my friends new and old, close or distant:

Happy
New Year!

Hoping 2007 will be even better, for all of us...

Season of Change

seth@macrobyte.net — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 21:38:20 GMT

I'm not afraid of change, generally, but that doesn't mean I'm immune to the stress it brings. Right now so much around me is changing that there seems to be another source of stress no matter where I look.

Macrobyte has been doing fairly well this year... enough that Corinne put in her notice and is finally staying home again. It's been a long, long time. She still has some healing to do. Hopefully being able to focus on some other areas of her life will help with that. (Plus, I never wanted her to have to work in the first place.)
Our plans for Thanksgiving this year have been pretty messy. Corinne thought she was going to have to be working so she didn't sign up to serve the shelter. That was a disappointment. Then she gave her notice. I believe things have worked out and we know where we're going, but it hasn't yet been finalized. Wherever we end up, they'd better allow us to bring some food! :-D

Seriously, I can't imagine going to a big dinner like that, with Corinne, without at least a few pans/dishes in the back of the Blazer.
Jed (my brother) has lived with us since late July, 2005. Despite the obvious stuff like space issues, (occasional) fraternal friction, and some loss of privacy, I have truly loved having him here.

Unfortunately, he's not just moving out, he's moving away, putting an entire continent between us. It's for the best of reasons: he has found true love, but Alycia lives in British Columbia. Logistics were such that it made more sense for him to go there than for her to come here, at least for now.

So there's a trailer-full of mixed emotions over this one. I couldn't be happier that he found her, but I'm selfishly sad that his find is our loss. Plus there's a hint of jealousy, because he's moving to my favorite place, somewhere I haven't even managed to visit since Corinne and I went to BC on our honeymoon in '97.
Jed has been our ecclesial secretary for years. Him leaving is a bit like throwing all the cards up in the air. While I think it's good to shuffle things around, it's most definitely a source of stress.
Mark & Michelle are pregnant! This is officially 'super cool,' the only downside to it is that Mark isn't willing to be the secretary in Jed's place because he's going to have a new baby to care for. I don't blame him, but it's too bad because he was the obvious choice.
As long as I'm listing stuff that's changing... my Mom and Dad are moving their 'warehouse' to a completely different facility. This isn't a real big deal for me, but it's one more happening in a family that's a little overloaded at the moment.

That's all I can think of at the moment. Isn't that enough?

Tuesday's Grab Bag of Highs and Lows

seth@macrobyte.net — Thu, 28 Sep 2006 01:57:47 GMT

Tuesday was an intense day, with some very high highs and very low lows. I'm just going to brain-dump it all.

Low and High:

Perry died. This is very sad for all of us, but he lived a long, full life and had plenty of time to know even his great grandchildren. I had to call this both a high and a low... it's hard to attach anything "all bad" to Perry Lanphear.

High:

Breakfast at Snoopy's Diner with a friend and client. The business side of the meeting went well, as plans were made and progress reviewed. The friendly side of the meeting was even better. Best of all were the pancakes! Mama mia. Must take Corinne there so she can replicate those Apple-slice-filled beauties. (Oh wait, I gave up food. Nuts!)

High:

After my gigantic breakfast, I drove up to see Steve Davis in MA so we could go for a ride. He had a basketball game the night before, so was worried that he'd be too tired for my pace. I promised that I would ride super hard the day before and then eat a huge breakfast to weigh me down. I did both, but neither were necessary: he kept me talking the whole time! It's hard to push the pace when you're talking so much that you can't breathe heavily. Sneaky, Steve.

This was ride #103. Stats: 36.4 miles (58.60 km) in 1h 59' 37" for an average speed of 18.25 mph (29.39 kph).

Low:

Our average speed for that ride. (Sorry Steve, couldn't resist.)

High & Low, Again:

After I left Steve's place, I went straight to Gary's & Ellyn's house in Westerly. Ellyn had invited the whole family for a "send off dinner" for Gramma and Grampa. They were up here in New England for much longer this year than previous years, because of Mandi's wedding, but now they're heading home and last night was our last chance to see them this year. I was about 90 minutes early because the alternative was driving all the way home, finding something to do for 30 minutes, then driving back again.

I had a chance to watch Grampa cut down a whole Pineapple into rings. He'd never done it before, and definitely did not like the fact that there's so much waste. Rather than just slice a little more deeply as he "skinned" it, he made shallow cuts and then worked with a paring knife to dig out the bits of rind that were left. After slicing it down, he carefully cut the inedible core out of every piece. This was all both highly amusing and rather painful to witness, but he didn't cut *himself* so all's well that ends well. :-)

Almost everybody made it to the dinner. Corinne had to work until 6:30 so she was late, but wanted to be there so she could say goodbye. Dad was there until 6:45, but had to leave to teach a class. Gary worked late but made a quiet appearance while we were still eating (spaghetti and meatballs). Katie's in Colorado so couldn't be there at all. Mandi, just back from her honeymoon for a day, showed up just before G&G were about to give up and go back to their rental for the night. (She had to work late, also.) Sarah was there but left a little early because Art, who couldn't make it due to work, needed some dinner. Everybody else in the family (Mom, Jed, Ellyn, Gramma and Grampa, Tom, and Rusty) was there, too.

Quite a day.

Perry Lanphear

seth@macrobyte.net — Wed, 27 Sep 2006 00:52:57 GMT

Very early Tuesday morning, a wonderful man, friend and brother succumbed to old age and human nature. Perry Lanphear was about 80 years old, and had lived without any functional kidneys for a long time. I truly believe that everyone who knew Perry saw him as the "strong, silent type," and a true Yankee. He was also one of the smartest and wisest people I've ever known. I'm tempted to say that we — his friends, family, and ecclesia — are the worse for his loss, but the truth is that what he gave us over the years so completely eclipses his loss that there's no fair comparison.

There were so many things about "Uncle Perry" that I hope are never forgotten. His sometimes subtle (and sometimes not subtle at all) yet hilarious sense of humor; his love for his children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren; his generosity; his amazing humility; that awesome yet rarely used Voice of Authority.

Perry endured (in a sense that some will comprehend, but not all), right to the very last moment. Just saying that makes me so proud I get choked up. Just days before he died, he was there with us, celebrating Mandi's and Ben's new life together. And though he must have been exhausted and worn thin, he was there again around the table with us just a day later.

Everyone has a story about Perry, a reason to remember, something to hold onto. No one in my own family will ever forget the kindnesses he showed us when we all first moved to Rhode Island from New Hampshire, in 1991.

Sleep now, Brother. Your life remains an inspiring example to everyone who knew you. Better things — better than even your deep mind ever imagined — now await.

Recovery

seth@macrobyte.net — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 21:30:45 GMT

The last two months have been some of the busiest I can remember.

It started with RailsConf in June (Chicago). Due to some persistence and a friendly contact, I landed a big new project on July 1st. I've been flat out on that project almost nonstop since then. Plus, July is my heaviest month of training on the bike for the PMC.

August included the PMC, an exhortation on the 20th, and my first lecture (an hour long talk to which the public is invited, at the ecclesial hall, though guests rarely show up). The lecture was last night. Two days earlier was the true deadline for the big new project. I made it (with minutes to spare!) but this left very little time for actually writing my lecture.

All the time-pressure of the last few days has kept me off the bike: I haven't ridden since Thursday. The endorphin withdrawal has hit hard, but this is somewhat offset by the relief of not having any pressing deadlines. I've tried to work on some other stuff (I do still have other clients!), but mostly I've just been drifting all day.

I'm hoping/planning to take off the next sunny day. No work, no computers (mostly). The weather reports suggest that will be Wednesday. We'll see.

Catching Up, A Little

seth@macrobyte.net — Thu, 15 Jun 2006 18:06:49 GMT

I was scolded last night by a relative (whose name is not "Ellen", but sounds the same) for not posting anything here since last week. "I've had nothing to read!" she lamented, "You didn't even mention the wonderful picnic at the Schlageter's house!"

"She just wants to toot her own horn," her daughter (whose name is not Mindy, but sounds like it) said.

"Hah!" was her witty response.

Anyway, yes, it's been quiet around here. Next week is the Rails conference in Chi-town, and I need to have my first Rails project "functional" before then so that my client (who is also going to be there) has something to demo.

Also taking up my time, recently:

I spend 30-45 minutes (almost) every day working on the new deck, usually at lunch. Mostly, I'm staining parts that Jed later installs (it'll get a touch-up second coat when we're done).
The bike! My weight still isn't going down (much), but my performance and endurance are gradually improving. I'm done pretending to understand why things are so different this year! (I have more stats and reports to post, sorry I fell behind again.)
Friday night I led the Bible readings at the hall. At least, I led them "officially." We had a special guest, which "eased the burden" on the leader, significantly.
Last Saturday I was supposed to ride in the Quabbin again (first time in a few years), but I wimped out at the last minute due to the flooding rains promised by the professional liars at weather.com. (They got a few quick spatterings, nothing more.) Instead, I rode 55 miles around here, and didn't really work at all that day.
Sunday (after Memorial Service) Corinne and I both enjoyed the "wonderful picnic at the Schlageter's house." It really was a great time! Almost everybody showed up (even Stan and Windy Isbell!), the weather was perfect, food was good, and the Drake kids were there (neither of my nieces, though). What more could I ask for?

Frisbee, that's what! I brought three to the picnic, but I was actually out-Frisbeed for the first time in my life! I tossed it around with Darren for a few minutes, then with Michelle... but then Bill wanted a chance and he just never tired of it! I finally called it quits after a few decades, and had to admit that Bill:
- is a better Frisbee-throwing-machine than I am
- is very stubborn
- has the ability to catch and throw on auto-pilot while his mind wanders
Either way, I've been humbled.

Mother's Day

seth@macrobyte.net — Sun, 14 May 2006 22:55:32 GMT

This is a very difficult "Hallmark day" around my house. As with all of the special days, you can feel it approaching for at least a week in advance. It's like "smelling" a storm before you hear any thunder.

I do want to wish Corinne a happy Mother's Day, but it just seems so unrealistic right now! Shane has been gone for two years, two months and two days. We've healed a lot in that time – even Corinne has healed — but that doesn't mean the pain is gone. Anyone reading this who has lost a child, or who is close to someone who has lost a child, knows what I'm talking about.

There's a pain, like a migraine, that never goes away. You learn to survive with it, and some days it's more bearable than others.

Birthdays, holidays, and Mother's Day are not those "more bearable" days.

Corinne's friends have learned how to help her cope on these days: they try. I mean that trying is how you help. For the last few years, Andrew has given her a hanging flower pot for the front porch. Last year, some of the sisters in the ecclesia gave her a gold heart pendant which was laser-engraved with Shane's face, and Katie gave her a beaded necklace that says, "Shane's Mom." This year, Allysia (sp?) gave her a handmade, miniature, wall quilt with four pictures of Shane. Loanne (sp?) C. always sends a card, or a thoughtful gift.

It might sound otherwise, but the key isn't the gift, it's the thought. Or really, the expression of it.

Loanne always brings a tear to Corinne's eye because they've never even met and live 3,000 miles apart, but Loanne just never forgets! (I know you'll read this, so: thank you.)

Children become your future, your heritage. Losing them makes you feel broken and alone. Thoughtfulness can't make you feel whole again, but it does a great job of taking away the Alone.

To everyone who told Corinne, today, that you know this is a 'tough day' for her, or that you're thinking of her, or love her: thank you! You all helped make it a little easier.

Oh, and Happy Mother's Day to my own Mom, and my sister, and grandmother, and aunts, and...

They're Coming Home!!!!

seth@macrobyte.net — Thu, 13 Apr 2006 17:17:52 GMT

Darren and Angi Drake have been in Nepal for over a month, adopting little Rina and Ravi, brother and sister orphans that they heard about "through the grapevine" over a year ago.

They knew this was going to be a difficult path to take, but they really believed this was the path for them.

While in Nepal, the country went a little nutso... even more than usual. Huge protests and unrest, bad enough that the king imposed a curfew on the capital city of Kathmandu that started at 11:00 am! There was some rioting, some fighting between the people and the government forces. (Keep in mind that Nepal has an active Maoist insurgency, trying to overthrow the king.)

Early this week, they had the kids out on the hotel grounds when they all got watery eyes and burning throats. The letter from Angi says that Darren said, "Oh my word," and then they grabbed the kids and ran back inside. Apparently it was tear gas, drifting over from a conflict at a local engineering school.

With pressure from the US government, the king lifted the curfew for Thursday and the US embassy agreed to open long enough (with a skeleton crew) to process the three emergency (adoption) visa applications that were pending. One of them was for Ravi, their new little boy (they already had Rina's).

They got the visa, and some strong advice: get out as soon as you possibly can. Find the next plane leaving the country with four seats on it, and fill them. Apparently the embassy is worried that things are about to get a lot worse with an upcoming speech by the king on the Nepali New Year (Friday?).

Long story short: they're coming home. I've been so stressed (nay, scared) about this that I don't have words to express it, nor my relief at Angi's last letter. They just need to get through another day: they're leaving Saturday morning.

(Darren and I have had our ups and downs, but he's been one of my closest friends since I was twelve. I'm very proud of him right now.)

Happy Belated Birthdays

seth@macrobyte.net — Thu, 19 Jan 2006 22:18:23 GMT

I missed Andrew's birthday, yesterday. He's 22! Sorry dude! (There was a cake for him at the hall last night after class, which is how I found out!)

Even worse, I missed Ellyn's birthday last month. Really sorry.

Can't tell you how old she is, of course, as that wouldn't be polite. But she's eight years older than me, and I'm 33. ;-)

2006, Fore and Aft

seth@macrobyte.net — Sun, 01 Jan 2006 21:12:18 GMT

On the last day of 2004, I was happy to say goodbye to the worst year of my life. The best I could say about it was that it wasn't all bad. That's the year Shane died. The love of my life realized her worst nightmare. Literally, it was the worst possible thing she could ever imagine happening in the whole world. It happened at night, just fifteen miles from our home, without any warning. There was no prickly feeling on the backs of our necks, no goose bumps. None of the people in our life (myself included), who so often anticipate big events, had any freaking clue.

It just happened.

We still don't know why. We may never know why. I am inclined to believe there may not even be a 'why'.

It just happened, and it changed everything. And nothing. Corinne is still here. I'm still here. We're more in love than ever. We trust and understand each other in new ways, and rely on each other for different things. Some things in life matter more than they used to (more on that, in a bit), others matter less. Some of our friends proved themselves to be people of great compassion and empathy... and others not so much. But that's ok; it's only natural that our relationships would change as we do. And we are.

Does everything in life revolve around Shane, still, almost two years later? No. Yes. No. Well, ok, yes. You -- we -- can't possibly understand our lives without it. It plays as big a part as our faith, and in fact the two things have merged in many ways.

Does everything on planet earth really revolve around the sun? Yes, in some very literal ways... but it's not like that's all we think about, right? We don't all hide in our caves on rainy days, but humans sure love to talk about the weather.

For us -- and I know it's not exactly the same for the two of us, but I think it's similar -- there was a second... hmm, I almost want to say a second sun, but that's not right. Let me try that again.

If our life revolved (mostly) around our faith, then that faith was like the sun. When Shane died, that faith was dwarfed, for a time, by the gravity of that new thing. The faith was still there, but this new 'black hole' in our hearts threatened to eat it and us and everything. For a long while, we revolved around that, just trying to survive, trapped in its gravity. (Got that?)

In all the confusion of trying to grasp our new reality, there was a time when everything related to our faith took some blame. Blame the ecclesia, blame God, blame family, blame our marriage. Blame anyone who didn't do something exactly when they should or could have.

Slowly, the blame faded. The anger receded. The black hole moved a little further away, or we moved a little further from it. By the middle of 2005, life seemed to revolve around two forces.

Our faith (and how we live it) changed. That's what I see clearest about 2005, even though I don't yet understand how it happened. Somehow, a new emphasis on 'doing good' (and I mean that in a way that makes it grammatically correct!) has been added. Helping, comforting, feeding, exhorting, teaching, providing... all these things seem to matter more now than they did two years ago.

This isn't the first time I've tried to explain the changes in our lives -- not even close -- and I'm sure it won't be the last. Yet, I hope you don't understand it, and I hope you never do, even though I'll keep talking about it.

There was more to say, but my boiler is running out of steam. Let's wrap this up...

So what of 2006, this promising new year? I'll finish with some personal resolutions. I resolve...

to help you smile, and to smile back.
to focus a little more on doing Good, even when it's hard. "More do, less be." Yes, I recognize the irony.
to spend more effort on what's important, and truly put the urgent distractions in their proper place.

That's our life (some of Corinne's, a lot of mine, and a whole lot of 'little us'), looking fore and aft on the first day of 2006.

I hope we all have a Happy New Year!

Exhausting Weekend, More to Come

seth@macrobyte.net — Tue, 22 Nov 2005 20:22:14 GMT

This weekend our ecclesia hosted a "study weekend", sort of a mini-bible-school.

Friday Night

It started Friday evening with a class for the teens, which included about 15 visitors from other New England ecclesias. The adults just did some Bible reading and discussion. Afterwards, there were refreshments (more like a small meal), and a birthday cake for Jed (who turned 30 a second time, since we missed it last year).

Saturday

Saturday morning there were two more classes, followed by lunch, with a third class in the early afternoon. Then we all went our separate ways for a few hours before meeting back at the hall for pizza (except Corinne, who had to attend a "bank-uet" for work). After pizza we did the readings, again.

Uh, hold it right there a sec. Usually, when we read together, we do it round-robin style, everybody reading five verses apiece. This time, three of us were asked if we'd each read a chapter. Our yearly reading schedule listed Nehemiah 7 as our first reading for the day, which I read from the podium.

I've read from the podium at least a hundred times, no big deal. I've presided and exhorted at least fifty times (each). I'm quite comfortable up there.

Nehemiah 7, though! This is not a chapter that's meant to be read out loud for an audience. In fact, I can't think of a less reader-friendly chapter in the entire Bible. Two-thirds of the way through I had a strong flashback to my childhood: I was standing on the stage at the Boston ecclesia, struggling mightily to recite some memory verses, wishing I could sit down and praying for it to end.

When I was finally done -- with only a couple of minor flubs, to my great surprise -- I let out a big sigh of relief before leaving the podium. Most everyone smiled or laughed, and Ken Willis said, "Seth! You're my hero!"

After the readings we watched a slideshow of Darren and Angi Drake's trip to Nepal. They're adopting two Nepalese children (siblings, a boy and a girl), and just returned from their first visit. The kids are adorable: the girl is a "girlie girl," the boy is a "little stinker" but has an infectious laugh (they had some movies with sound in the slideshow), the roads and driving are totally insane, and most of the Nepalese are poor to a degree we rarely see in the U.S.

Sunday

Sunday after meeting and Sunday School we had Yet Another Meal. By this point I was honestly tired of eating. Me. Tired of food. Can you believe it? Corinne went home early, she was too tired to stick around and was sleeping by the time I got home.

Thanksgiving: Feeding the Hungry

You'd think that she could use this week to recover... but of course this is Thanksgiving week. This year, instead of feeding the Norwich police like last year, she's feeding the homeless and hungry at the Westerly Warm Shelter... so she has to prepare meals this week for sixty to eighty people.

She's not actually cooking it all, but she is doing most of it. One or two of the turkeys are being 'farmed out' to others in the ecclesia who were willing to help, and some of the ladies at the bank are providing pies. Corinne's doing most everything else... and on top of all that, we're serving both lunch and dinner!

If there's anything left of her at the end of the day, I'll take her home, put her to bed, and hope she doesn't wake up again until Saturday morning.

Happy Birthday Steve

seth@macrobyte.net — Tue, 26 Jul 2005 13:46:23 GMT

Steve Davis turns 42 today. Happy Birthday!

Steve is nine years and about six weeks older than me, but (with just a couple of exceptions) I've never been as strong as he is on the hills.

Also, Steve gets a lot of credit for my continued love of cycling (because of lots of encouragement, and being one of those rare friends who I can talk to about both the sport and the Bible, without a lot of eye rolling). Plus, he introduced me to the PMC.

Hope it's a good day and a great year, Steve. I promise to keep the "old fart jokes" in check. :-)

Displacement

seth@macrobyte.net — Mon, 25 Jul 2005 15:11:16 GMT

You can't pour a gallon of life into a pint-sized glass without losing something. That's an awkward way of saying that the last week has been really busy, but I finally have a few minutes to explain how and why.

Things I haven't written about as I should have, simply for lack of time (or priority):

Wednesday night, Corinne and I had dinner with the Rudds, on the Atlantia. Good time, beautiful boat, lovely family.
Thursday I sailed with the Rudds from Mystic Seaport to Old Lyme. Driving by car takes 30 minutes, max. Sailing takes more than five hours, as it's straight into the wind. I have a partially written story and lots of pictures...
Saturday, Mom and Dad moved. This took almost the entire day, even with lots of help from the ecclesia.
In October, ~~2004~~ 1994, I rented an apartment in Ashaway, RI for Mark Drake, Dave Bilello, and myself. $550 / month!!! I even paid to have some structural work done to the place, because it was otherwise such a bargain.

I lived there for about a year and a half before moving down to Niantic, CT. Jed (my brother) moved in. Dave died of cancer. Andrew Ellison moved in. Mark married Michelle Shaw. Ben Isbell moved in. Now the remaining three (Jed, Andrew, Ben) have been evicted because the landlords have decided that they want to spread out a little (some of their family is moving out of the first floor into the second floor apt.).

Rentals around here are pretty expensive for such a rural area. That place was a fluke, they couldn't find anything similar for less than $1200. So, Andrew is moving into his parents' basement, Ben into Ellyn's & Gary's, and Jed into mine. This is all temporary, until everyone is sure they have solid employment and can find a place they can afford (together or not). All that to say that Jed's been moving in here, and his entrance is right through my office.

There's more. Lots more. A significant PMC update, an important ride story, etc., but I'll save those for separate updates.

Unfortunately, with so many things happening, I had to choose between writing about life and actually living it. That's no exaggeration: if I'd taken time out to write about all this stuff in the last week, something would have been skipped, or I'd have slept even less than I did. This bulk update is a compromise, but it's better than nothing.

Congrats, Andrew!

seth@macrobyte.net — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 02:12:18 GMT

Andrew got promoted to warehouse manager. Very cool, congratulations, Andrew.

Anybody Got a Kleenex?

seth@macrobyte.net — Thu, 10 Mar 2005 15:11:43 GMT

Corinne scared the snot out of me last night.

I returned home from Bible class (followed by some ping pong) at about 11:00 PM. Corinne is usually asleep by this time, and all of the lights were out in the house so I had no reason to think otherwise.

As I entered the darkened kitchen from the garage, a large beast crept out from behind the "table of stuff" to the left of the door, growling hungrily and screaming with anticipation of its next kill (and to frighten its prey).

It all happened very quickly, but here's what I remember.

Me (thinking): "Dum de dum de dum, I'm just an innocent man returning home to my sleeping wife from a pleasant evening with the ecclesia..."

Evil Hungry Beast: "Grrrrrr... Growl! Arrrr!! ROOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!!"

Me: "AAAAAaaaaaaaaahhh!"

Me: "Good Grief Corinne!"

Evil Hungry Beast: :::ROTFLMBOPIMP:::

I think she got the biggest kick out of the "Good Grief Corinne!" It's not the first time I've said that. She once took an egg "thing" out of the microwave and offered me a taste, only to have it explode when she touched it with the fork. Apparently, the totally shocked look on my face and my now-familiar utterance of "Good Grief Corinne!" is the funniest thing she ever expierenced.

Gee, I'm glad I can still make you laugh, honey (a.k.a. Evil Hungry Beast). Now where are the tissues?

Week Three of Math Tutoring

seth@macrobyte.net — Tue, 15 Feb 2005 22:17:58 GMT

Tonight I'll be tutoring Avonlee in Math, for the third week in a row. She was struggling with fractions, but I think she's over it now. When we started, she seemed to think that a fraction was nothing more than two numbers separated by a line. They didn't make any sense to her, especially all the rules for working with them.

Now she has no problem with adding, subtracting, and multiplying fractions, including mixed fractions. She knows how to find a common denominator. She likes my examples with marbles! I'm testing her tonight, and if she does well then we're moving on. (Obviously, fractions aren't going away. They never do... but we won't have to focus on them exclusively.)

She's probably never going to love math. Her parents both hate it. Our hope is that being taught by someone who *does* love math will at least make it easier for her to reach her potential. Kids know (as would any adult) when their parents are dreading a particular subject.

Soon, possibly next week, I'm going to start working with her younger brother Ethan. Separately. He's been described as the opposite of Av. "Advanced." I'm going to try to ignore that, and just let them both work at their own best pace. How would it affect Av, to frequently hear that she's struggling where her younger brother is excelling? At least they don't seem to be very competitive.

Watching the Babies Grow Up

seth@macrobyte.net — Wed, 02 Feb 2005 10:53:22 GMT

Just a couple of days ago, I lived in the same house as Eric and Bonny. A giant farm house, converted into a duplex, on Watch HIll Road in Westerly, RI. Eric and I worked at the same place in Providence, and commuted together every morning. Bonny was pregnant with Avonlee, their first. Mine was one of the voices that we said "Av would know" when she was born, because she'd heard it so often while still in the womb.

I was standing in their kitchen the first time I met her, I remember it very clearly. Like I said, that was just a couple of days ago.

Last night I went to their house, in a different part of Westerly. Why? To tutor their twelve year old daughter, Avonlee, in math. (Where's this twelve year old come from!? What happened to the baby from a couple days ago...?) She's home schooled, approximately at the fifth or sixth grade level. She's very smart, but fractions have been eluding her and I'm more than happy to help. In fact, I offered to teach her math class months ago, without knowing that she was struggling with fractions.

Av has always been one of my favorites. The ecclesia used to call me the sandman because, as an infant, she'd fall asleep whenever I held her. Yet, somehow, in just a couple of days she grew up and needs my help with math!? In an email this morning, Eric said, "Funny, I was looking at Av. while you were doing the lesson and was remembering bringing her home to Watch Hill Rd. WOW! Are we all getting OLD!"

I know what he means, but this didn't make me feel old. It made me feel displaced, somehow out of (outside of) time. As though I bounced, like a stone on water, from then to now. Only observing the years in between as a blur, a rush of memories. Temporal vertigo, that's the best way to describe this.

Greg and Katie are feeling it a little, too, and their story only enhanced my own feeling because I remember (what they shared of) the whole ordeal of the fertility clinics, the pregnancy, and then the "events" in their boys' lives.

Life and memory can be so motion-blurred. I love these moments, like now, when everything stops and comes back into focus. Kids do that better than anything else.

Congratulations Mark and Michelle Drake!

seth@macrobyte.net — Mon, 02 Aug 2004 08:58:59 GMT

My friend Mark Drake married Michelle Shaw on Saturday. Friday night was the rehearsal dinner, the wedding was on Saturday at 2PM, the picnic reception at 5PM.

This all had Corinne and I very busy (though she was much busier than me). I was a sort of semi-usher in the wedding: I read Genesis 2: 18-25 and Ephesians 5: 17-33 at the beginning of the ceremony (my brother, Jed, actually 'performed' the wedding), and then organized/managed the process of a couple hundred people flowing into the "receiving line."

Michelle was absolutely radiant. It's too bad I don't have a single picture! I was supposed to be the assistant photographer also, but Corinne needed my help with the reception more than Bonny Pride needed my help with the photos, so I think I made the right choice. (Unfortunately, I didn't make this decision until after purchasing eight rolls of film and a pack of batteries for my 35mm rig, and charging up and cleaning up my digital camera.)

The picnic reception was a great success! Corinne had been told to expect as many as 200 people there, so she prepared enough for a "few extra." Frank Locke ran his gas grill to cook Indian chicken kabobs. Jim Burns ran two grills cooking hotdogs and hamburgers (and nearly getting smoked into a stupor). I ran three grills, cooking some burgers, some cajun-rubbed flank steaks (which were later cut down into thin strips for consumption) and some more chicken kabobs. Lesson learned: running three grills at once is a bit of a stretch, especially when everybody knows you're the husband of the caterer and so asks you dozens of questions about what, where, when, and how. Things ran much more smoothly when I handed one of the grills off to my Dad.

Our ecclesia had another picnic Sunday afternoon, to finish off some of the food. I took Corinne home right after meeting so she could get some (much needed) sleep, and then returned in time for the tail end of the picnic. When we were all done, everybody took home whatever leftovers they wanted. I grabbed five "Gladware containers" of Potato Salad, the Cajun flank steak, and Indian chicken... and then brought three full catering trays of food to the W.A.R.M. Shelter. :-) (Like I said, she made a "little extra." She cooked for 200 adults, but my best guess is that the reception had 100-120 people, evenly split between adults and kids.)

This entry is officially about Mark and Michelle, who Corinne and I are both very happy for, but I have to say (for the umpteenth time) that I'm incredibly proud of my wife! That she was able to "put aside," or at least work-through, all of her own pain while producing such incredible volumes of truly excellent food... well, she's just amazing. The totally oppressive heat and humidity finally wore her down Saturday afternoon so she left the reception a little early, but not until after all of her work was done. What a woman!

Ride #27: Escapism

seth@macrobyte.net — Sat, 26 Jun 2004 12:37:05 GMT

I've been hand-feeding the five kittens that were born last weekend, every few hours, every day. I just sort of have a knack for it, I guess, so I do it instead of Corinne. They need to be hand-fed because the mother isn't producing enough milk for them, so we supplement with KMR. (This involves putting the food in a 3 cc syringe, with a thin, flexible tube on the end. The tube goes down the throat into the stomach, and the KMR is squirted in.)

Sadly, one of the kittens started showing signs of weakness Thursday night. It's cries were much quieter, and it didn't grip my finger while I was feeding it. Friday morning, it died. I have no idea what was wrong with it... but experience has shown me that sometimes they just don't make it.

After burying the kitten, I decided to take the rest of the day off. I goofed around in the house for an hour or two, and then spun out my longest ride so far this year: almost 55 miles. It thoroughly wore me out, and kept my mind off things (I'm NOT a real big fan of death right now, that's for sure), so... mission accomplished.

Unfortunately, I was so worn out that when I went to the readings last night and finally played ping pong against Jim Burns, I was demolished. He really is as good as the legends said, but I was beaten by everybody else, too. I'm hoping to have more energy for a rematch next week.

Stats: 54.39 miles (87.56 km) in 3h 1' 48" for an average speed of 17.95 mph (28.90 kph).