Richie (Lauren's big brother) turned five yesterday.

We didn't get to see him, but I hope he had a good day. Eric Pride told me that he and Bonny miss him (so do we).

Still coming to grips with all this. In spite of Mike completely flipping out there at the end, I'm missing them all pretty intensely. But especially Lauren. Every time I think of seeing her again (hopefully someday soon), I get a jolt of pain like I've touched a live wire.

This morning, Mike and Shannon took Richie and Lauren, and left.

I mentioned this on Twitter, but couldn't possibly tell the whole back story there for all the friends who don't know any of it. So here's the back story in the form of a timeline. After the history lesson is a recap of what happened today.

Since then things have just kept on keeping on. Except...

Today Things Get Ugly

Shannon got sick a few weeks ago. Stomach cramps, in the area of her appendix, but they said it wasn't appendicitis. She spent a few days in the hospital, but they never figured out what was wrong. She improved, but still walked with a limp. Her Massage Therapy instructor said she felt a torn muscle in her abdomen, and Shannon was pretty sure that was it.

She stopped going to school. The first few days were understandable: she was in the hospital, or could barely walk. But then she'd miss because she felt a little nauseous (oh, forgot to mention they got pregnant again). Corinne and I were concerned she was losing her motivation.

This morning she stayed home again. Corinne found out while I was taking my shower, and asked her about it. Mike told me she was home while I was eating my breakfast. He said the school didn't care if she missed the days, she'd be able to make it up. Shannon came into the room and I asked her about it. She gave me a completely different story from Mike... basically she sounded defeated. Making up all of her "logs" (practice massages) and schoolwork would be too much work. She'd even have to drive to Hartford (90 minutes)!

I told her/them that she can't drop out, passively or otherwise. We can't support their family forever. Her Massage Therapy certificate was the “end game”: it was to be their ticket to self-sufficiency. Mike, getting angry, said she still has her job at Staples, and they'll keep paying us our $60 per week. (Which covered their two cell phones, but not much else.)

“Don't yell at her about this, it's her choice,” he said. Now I was mad. I tried to explain that this “choice” of hers is costing me money. Everything I said resulted in the same response, almost a dozen times, “It's her choice.”

I don't remember, now, exactly how it happened, but Mike said they'd move out by the end of the week. Entirely out of anger, and now to my regret, I told him to be out within the hour. By this time, we were in the basement (their apartment).

We went upstairs, and he held the kitchen door open. I'm not sure why, as (most?) everybody else was outside. I started to go through the open door, but he snarled, “Don't you touch that door.” Well, I wasn't going to, but telling me not to touch my own door... bah. Anger sucks. I touched it. “What, do you want to fight me?” Sure. Let's go outside.

No, I had no intention of fighting him. I just wanted to say goodbye to the little girl.

Somehow, he ended up over by Shannon's car, talking to her, while I was still inside. I don't remember waiting to go out, but I must have. When I came out, I asked what they were still doing there. “We're leaving!” I told him he wasn't leaving, he was standing there talking.

I walked over to the back door, passenger side, to say goodbye to Lauren. Shannon yelled, “Don't touch my kid!” and Mike came flying around the car. I said I was just going to say goodbye to her, and Mike said I wasn't. Yes, though, I was. I opened the door before Mike could block it, and, well...

He punched me in the left ear. Big roundhouse punch. Maybe it's my height, or my size, or maybe he pulled it at the last moment, but it didn't really hurt. Definitely surprised me, though I didn't fall down or anything. Shannon yelled, “Michael!” I looked at him and said, “You're crossing a line you can't ever come back from.” (Ok, so it was a little awkward, but he knew what I meant and so do you.)

Then I walked back to the car, opened the door (again), and calmly told Lauren I loved her very much, to please be a good girl, and that I may not see her ever again. Mike was trying to pull me away, but I just ignored him. She was scared and confused, but Opa was talking to her calmly so maybe it was going to be ok. She gave me a little smile, and said she'd be a good girl.

I went inside and talked to Corinne. I was crying. Two and a half years of our life had been devoted to helping Mike and Shannon straighten themselves out and become (legally) self-supporting... all destroyed by pride. Probably pride on both sides.

Shannon came back about 90 minutes later with a Westerly cop. He was just her escort as she got some of their stuff, because (she said) she didn't feel comfortable going to the house alone.

We haven't seen or heard from them since. They have no diapers, food, or money. A few clothes. They're probably going to live with Mike's grandfather in North Stonington, but we don't know for sure.

We're both really worried about the kids, Richie and Lauren. Mike and Shannon can fend for themselves (mostly). The kids don't deserve this insanity. :-(

Happy Birthday Lauren Deane!

She's two years old. That's just... ugh. Everything I want to say sounds so trite. All parents and parent-like people go through this. Yet it really is amazing to watch her grow up. She's so aware, so bright, so sweet. She's also turning into something of a... diva? Primadonna? (Yeah. We're working to correct that. The problem is mostly that she really doesn't like being told "no." Apparently most kids LOVE that.)

In other news... nearly everything at the house has improved lately.

It's really great to have Mike back, he's taken 90% of the duties with Lauren and Richie, he's extremely helpful around the house (that's such an understatement!), he's strict but fair with both kids, and respectful and friendly with both Corinne and myself. In fact, Jed might have some competition for "best roommate ever" if he keeps this up.

Richie's troubles have mostly passed. He's still more fearful than we'd like, but it's not as bad as it used to be. He's eating quite well now, and in fact has some very cute, chubby-cheeks! Kid talks like no other child since... um... me at that age, I guess. So I'm told. (It's all lies!) He's even sleeping through the night without any nightmares!

It feels like everything has changed in the last month. It's thrown me off balance and I don't expect a return to normalcy until January.

The first big change is that Richie came to live with us much earlier than he was supposed to. Richie is Shannon's son, Lauren's half-brother, and he's 2 1/2 years older than she is. For most of his life he's been living with Shannon's mom, first here in CT, and for the last two years in North Carolina.

He's an extremely bright lad, but he's had very little discipline and, conversely, is afraid of nearly everything. He wakes up every night screaming and crying, and often sleepwalks while crying. An example of the fear: Dad and I took him (and Lauren) sledding on Sunday. Dad sat him in the sled and pulled him up the hill... but he wailed in terror the entire time… going UP the hill. (Going down it was no better, so that was the extent of our sledding.) The lack of discipline manifests itself as him tending to do whatever he wants, even when we're standing right there asking/telling him not to (hit the kitties, throw the ball at the window, jump on the couch, etc., etc., etc.)

We are making progress with him, and I'm very fond of him. His situation is just so different from Lauren's, and we weren't prepared for it. Literally — he wasn't supposed to move in until after we moved to RI. Shannon's grandmother died in November, a couple weeks before Thanksgiving, so Shannon's mom (Brenda) had to come up here anyway... it just made sense for us to take Richie then instead of forcing them to make another trip in late December or early January.

Shortly after Richie came to live here, the week before Thanksgiving, my parents moved out of our house in Connecticut to a house in Missouri. My Dad has a new job out there working for a friend (starting in January), so he's giving up his business here (which had fallen on very hard times anyway). Dad flew back again the following Monday so he can finish up his last few contracts, and will be flying back to Missouri on January 2nd.

Of course, while he was gone we gave my parents' room to Richie so he wouldn't have to sleep on the floor in his Mom's room. So when Dad came back he had to pump up his king sized air mattress… to sleep in my office.

Back in January, while I was driving to Norwalk to pick up Shannon and bring her home, our laandlords told us we have to move. They didn't push it, which is good because the house we're moving into is still occupied by Ellyn and Gary (Ellyn is my Dad's sister), Katie and Tom (two of their three kids) and my grandparents (who officially moved in with them at the end of October). They're all moving to a new house in Bradford just a few miles from where they live now, but it took 6 months longer to finish the new house than was expected. Originally they were going to move in June or July, but I just helped them pack the first moving truck yesterday!

Now that they're moving, so are we. We'll be living in Westerly, RI, this weekend.

Of course I still have lots of work to do in the midst of all this chaos, and my poor, little, pea-sized brain does everything it can to find escape routes from all the chaos.

But wait, there's one more big change coming. A week after my Dad leaves, Mike — Shannon's husband, Lauren's sire — comes home. January 9th.

Please forgive me if you've expected something from me but I'm late with it. Or if I stood you up for coffee, like I did to Joe Cascio *twice* in one week.

Life is total chaos right now, but it should start to settle down in a couple of weeks.

Chaos.

Shane Michael Ray Kilhefner should have been twenty eight years old today.

One would expect today to be one of the most difficult days of the year for Corinne, but it's actually somewhat cathartic. More difficult are the six weeks leading up to his birthday. I can't say that she thinks about him more during those weeks, it just seems that the anticipation of his birthday is worse than the day itself.

What's hard for me is to hear her reminisce about being pregnant with him. Those last six weeks of pregnancy when she just wanted to meet him and was so excited about it. When she could feel every kick, every turn, every hiccup.

Hearing her talk about it chokes me up. Just thinking about it chokes me up.

Anyway, as I've suggested, Corinne seems to be dealing with it fine today. She's out with Lauren for the day, and will spend some time with Ellyn before bringing Lauren back so they can both have their naps.