Truer Words - A Journal

Ride #29: The Full "Birthday Loop" HIll Ride

seth@macrobyte.net — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:25:46 GMT

(This ride was on Sunday. I've also ridden Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, but this was the only one worth writing about. Stats for those days are on May's page.)

After a couple days of rain, I decided it was time to do the full, hilly, half-century ride that I've been describing here for years.

One thing you need to understand about this area: South-Eastern Connecticut is flat. Not Kansas-flat, but still very flat. This area is know for its sea-side scenery, not its mountains. There are no mountains for which it could be known.

People in Western Mass, or Vermont, or Georgia (think "Bald Buster"), or the Rockies, or just about anywhere else... they look at what I call a hill route and chuckle. "Poor boy would not like it out here," they think to themselves. You may even be one of those peope. :p

Steve Davis prompted me to map the route at USATF. So, I very carefully traced out the whole 54 mile route, starting and ending at my front door. See the ride profile here.

4,140 feet of climbing in 54 miles is pretty good for this area, but you can tell from the map that the route is truly wacky (calling it a "loop" requires a bit of squinting). That's because it just keeps heading for the next hill.

Unfortunately, the "birthday loop" (named by the guys at Mystic Cycle) omits one of the steepest hills around, though it passes very close to it. I'm going to try modifying the route next week when I ride it again, adding in that extra hill. Should add another 250 feet of elevation-gain. The week after that, Steve's coming down to ride with me for an afternoon, and this is the route we'll be following. (Ooh, maybe I'll throw in Pumpkin Hill, too... Hmm...)

Stats: 54.83 miles (88.27 km) in 3h 9' 39" for an average speed of 17.34 mph (27.92 kph).

Lauren's Dancing Debut

seth@macrobyte.net — Mon, 05 May 2008 00:49:26 GMT

This movie of Lauren dancing is almost a month old, but I just got around to uploading it.

The description on YouTube says:

Lauren was dancing like this months before she could walk. Now that she's been walking for a while, the dancing has gotten more involved: she spins circles, and puts her hand on her hand and revolves, and sometimes even puts one hand on a hip like she's doing a cha cha. Girl's got moves. This one is her dancing debut, though. ;-)

Familial Update, and Grumpy Seth's Advice on Raising a Baby

seth@macrobyte.net — Sat, 03 May 2008 16:04:23 GMT

We're still moving, probably in October. The landlord is still planning to sell this place. It's a little stressful as we've lived here over 9 years (will be ten years in October) and I really like the neighborhood. Still, if we leave the house for more than a few minutes, then we're probably headed for Westerly. Moving over there will save us five or six gallons of gas and many hours of driving every week.

Corinne seems to be looking forward to it. I don't think it's entirely because the kitchen she'll be getting is thrice the size of what we have now, but that's probably a big part of it. ;-)

Business has been decent this year. Back in December, one client sent me some money to pre-pay for some work "to be decided." Work with Bare Bones has been steady, and I finally produced a working (though incomplete) module for YAML.

Shannon is no longer working two jobs. The second job, at a Hallmark (greeting cards) store, was paying minimum wage and only giving her 12 hours per week, so after a few weeks she told them she wouldn't be coming back.

Instead, she's going to school! She got Pell grants and various other forms of financial aid to cover almost all the costs of going to the Connecticut School for Massage Therapy. She started this week. It takes (I think) 18 months to get her certificate, and when she's done she'll finally have a real, employable skill for a job that pays a lot better than retail ever will.

She'll be about half done with her schooling when Mike comes home in January.

Thursday I went to court with her in Waterford for a "status update" on her appeal to get custody back of her son Richie. Richie's father, Dick S., decided to contest it. We went to the court thinking that she was going to walk out with custody papers, and instead all we know is that this is going to take longer than we first thought. (That's good, as we've asked Shannon not to rush this. We're already doing most of the work with Lauren. Neither of us mind that, but we're not ready to add another kid to the house.)

Corinne wanted pizza on Thursday night, so I was going to take Lauren with me to get it from Olympic Pizza in Norwich. Shannon came home from work early because (in her words), she "didn't feel like working," so she went with us. On the way, we had a talk about her relationship with Lauren.

Had very late second thoughts about posting the rest of this, so for now I've taken it out. Sorry...

Ride #25: Gotta Love Those Rest Days!

seth@macrobyte.net — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 00:42:47 GMT

In the eight days from the 14th to the 21st, I rode seven times. The only day I missed was Friday the 18th. 236 miles (380 km) in eight days (seven rides). That's one of my best weeks ever, not counting the PMC every year.

But, all that riding really doesn't do you much good if you don't take a rest once in a while. Tuesday the 22nd I worked form Rich's house all day (before picking up Corinne, Ellyn and Lauren from the airport that night. It's wonderful to have my girls home!) So, no ride. Then on Wednesday I worked on stuff for Bare Bones in the morning and working on my (LAST) midweek Bible class in the afternoon. Another day off.

By this morning I was feeling fat again. Mark and I drove up to visit Mike (Lauren's dad) at his "home away from home" in Somers, CT, and I had a Big Mac for lunch. Yay nutrition! By the time we got home I felt fat and lazy. Time for a ride!

As of today I've lost eight pounds since the beginning of the month, and twelve pounds since my heaviest weight this year. My weight is now down to the same as it was at this time last year, but I'm trending down. (Last year, I endured a very long plateau. I'm being much smarter this year.)

Today is also a nice little anniversary. It's been four years since my first ride on my wonderful Seven Axiom Steel. I'm still so ridiculously happy with this bike... it's definitely my favorite-major-purchase of all time.

Here are the total and average stats for those four years:

Summary of rides from 4/24/2004 to 4/24/2008
Rides:	495	Miles:	19278.36 miles (31025.51 km)	Time:	42day 7h 55m 12s
Avg. Speed:	18.97 mph (30.53 kph)	Avg. Miles:	38.94 miles (62.66 km)	Avg. Time:	2h 3m 8s

Fastest	22.05 mph (35.48 kph)	Miles:	21.12 miles (33.98 km)	Date:	9/12/2005
Slowest	15.5 mph (24.94 kph)	Miles:	9.0 miles (14.48 km)	Date:	4/24/2004

Avg. Weight:	257 lbs	Max Weight:	297 lbs	Min Weight:	239 lbs

Wow. Almost 20,000 miles in four years! (That table will only look right on the the site, not in email. You've been warned.)

When looking at those weights, please keep in mind that I'm 6' 9". 297 is heavy even for me, but 257 isn't too bad, and I'm quite happy when I'm in the 240's by mid-summer.

One last thing: the weather this April has been unreal. It's been more than two weeks since we had any rain, has been bright and sunny almost all of that time, and it was in the upper 70's today! It feels great now, but what does this say about the upcoming summer? I'm worried we're going to fry, and this is starting to feel like the makings of a drought. Two rainless weeks in April? Uh oh. (This weekend has rain in the forecast. We'll see.)

Tomorrow I'll do the big hill ride again if I can knock off enough time for it.

Stats: 42.59 miles (68.56 km) in 2h 18' 7" for an average speed of 18.50 mph (29.78 kph).

Ride #21: First Up Cossaduck, and One Unlikely Number

seth@macrobyte.net — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 14:18:21 GMT

I mentioned that I'm really pushing myself back into shape this year. Last year's PMC was so bad that I couldn't even write about it. Admittedly, I got sick, but I really just wasn't riding like myself last year. This year I want to make up for it, so I'm doing lots of hill rides. Whereas last year's daily route was flat and pretty, this year's has more hills. Eventually I plan to make the "birthday loop" my daily ride, though I'm not quite there yet.

Thursday was my first attempt at about 80% of that crazy hill ride. I left out Wintechaug on the front and Town Farm Road on the back, shortening the route from 50+ to about 40 miles. However, this ride was my fourth day on the bike in a row, and the season is still very young so I knew it wasn't going to be a fast ride.

My performance was better than I expected. Cossaduck HIll is a beast, but I was able to climb "out of the saddle" for 2/3 of the hill, which is much better than my first attempt in previous years. I didn't even care how long this route took me, I just wanted to get through it and put some hills into my legs.

There were two very pleasant surprises in store for me. The first was that Gilliver Road has been resurfaced! Last year it was so bad that I tended to skip it, which meant leaving out one and a half good climbs in favor of about four extra miles. Now it's quite smooth and rideable (and the crazy dog at the top of the hill never made a peep, which made that road even better... he's a bike chaser).

The second surprise? Well, just look at the picture.

I have no explanation for this. The computer only counts speeds that are maintained for at least two (or maybe it's three) seconds. Yet, I'm pretty sure I never hit 79 mph. My highest speed to date was (I think) 54 mph. I may have hit that again on one of the descents, or maybe even a little higher, but 79 mph!? That just doesn't seem likely or even possible.

Must admit that I seriously considered just sending this picture to a couple cycling-friends (Steve, Daniel, I'm looking at you...) with no comments. :-D

Stats: 39.78 miles (64.04 km) in 2h 20' 43" for an average speed of 16.96 mph (27.30 kph).

(Reminder not to make too much of that low average speed. This ride had loads of climbing and the season is still very young.)

Nobody's Home

seth@macrobyte.net — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 14:15:55 GMT

My grandparents needed some help with "things," so Ellyn (technically, my aunt... Dad's sister) asked Corinne to go down with her for a week. Originally they were going to drive, but (thankfully) I talked them out of that idea. They flew out Tuesday afternoon, and come back on Tuesday the 22nd.

With Corinne out of the house for a week, I can't sleep at home. (Shannon's 21, her husband won't be home for another nine months, and I don't want anybody getting the wrong idea.) Since I can't stay at home, I suggested they take Lauren with them also. Shannon and I both need to work, but one of us would have to take the week off to watch Lauren full time if she had stayed at home.

Thus, my first tweet of the day, yesterday, "Woke up alone in a strange house in a small bed, far from home." (The bed was in Ellyn's & Gary's guest room.)

For most of the week they're gone I'll be working from home, but mornings from Thursday to Saturday are at Rich's house. He and his family are out of town, so I'm making friends with his gigantic, 30-inch Cinema Display and officially Getting Stuff Done™. In the afternoons I'm heading home again, going for a ride (weather is PERFECT this week), then working at home until late evening when I head back into Westerly for the night.

Yeah, I'm missing my girls. :-(

Corinne and Ellyn both report that Lauren was a nightmare on the plane down there. She screamed more often than she was quiet, and just wouldn't settle down. She slept great Tuesday night, but terribly Wednesday night and awoke everyone except Gramma. When Corinne and I last spoke, Lauren was screaming in the background.

I think my girls miss me, too. ;-)

Shannon's son Richie was supposed to be up here now for a three day visit, but that was canceled at the last minute. So Shannon is bored, but has Saturday off and is going bowling with her friend Jen.

Quick status update on Shannon: she is now working a second job at a Hallmark store, and can't seem to decide between starting a cleaning business (simply because her Mom says she could make good money doing it) and going to school for massage therapy (which is what she really wants to do). I'm strongly in favor of the massage therapy (because, as I said, it's what she really wants to do), but she also wants to get her son back. If she's working one or two jobs and going to school for massage therapy, there won't be much time left for her kids. I'm hoping she'll just keep on keeping on until Mike comes home in January.

I Hope She Understands

seth@macrobyte.net — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 17:33:15 GMT

Someday Lauren is going to be old enough to realize that not every little girl spends a big piece of her life in front of a camera. That not all of her little friends have their pictures posted on public web sites for family and friends — and strangers — to gawk at.

That not every little girl has a crazy, doting "Opa."

I hope this works out. I hope she grows up knowing that she's beautiful no matter how she looks. That even though not every picture is perfect, she's always beautiful.

I hope, in fact, that she can be the kind of girl who is confident enough in herself to be honest and comfortable with the camera, without posing. Like she does now. Not beautiful like a model, but beautiful like someone that everybody wants to love, someone who loves and gives freely.

She won't become that person just because my camera can't take its eye off her, obviously, but I hope it helps (thinking about the attitude of the people behind the camera). Confident, comfortable, happy, warm, and full of brightness. We're off to a good start, but there are big obstacles in her path...

Classy Query

seth@macrobyte.net — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 18:33:01 GMT

Remember the episode of StarTrek: The Next Generation when Data was studying humor and went onto the holodeck to interact with famous comedians? At first the computer gave him the funniest comedian of all time, but he specialized in math-humor and that was too specific (too focused, or vertical) for what Data wanted. (So, of course, he ended up with someone from the late 20th century. How convenient. Beside the point, too.)

That's what this makes me think of. It's an April Fool's joke that only javascripters will understand. Except, of course, it's not all that funny. Cute, but not hilarious.

I read through the comments... some big names there who thought it was funny enough to comment. Of course, the author of the joke is also the author of jQuery itself, which makes him a pretty big deal. Most of the commentors were probably just sucking up. ;-) (Same would have happened if Sam Stephenson posted something similar.)

Other BBEdit Language Modules

seth@macrobyte.net — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 17:29:49 GMT

Rich read the Why I Wrote a JavaScript Module for BBEdit story, but like everyone else at Bare Bones decided to respond to me directly instead of posting something on the site. (Jim Correia has been guilty of this so many times it's now an old joke.) Anyway, he suggests that list the other languages/modules I've added to BBEdit since the JavaScript module

They are, in no particular order:

Strings (for MacOS X developers)
Python
Markdown
SQL (five flavors)
Ruby
Java
TeX
Lua
YAML

My favorite is still the JavaScript module. My least favorite is definitely the Markdown module (see Markdown.pl's source code and look for the author's comment, "This is an aspect of Markdown's syntax that's hard to parse perfectly without resorting to mind-reading" and maybe you'll understand my issues with it.)

My second favorite is the Python module, because Guido van Rossum wrote the gold standard of language specifications. He doesn't just describe the language syntax with near perfect clarity, he also has implementor hints! It's like he was in the room with me when I wrote that module, telling me what I should do here or there. His work made my work better, and there have been very few bugs reported in the Python module since its release.

My second least favorite module is YAML, for the same (or opposite) reason. The specification is obtuse, repetitive, unclear and unrealistic. It's full of internal language which you can only comprehend by looking for definitions elsewhere in the document, and inevitably those definitions have more internal language. (I'm working on an update to the YAML module, and the authors of YAML actually admitted to these problems in several IRC chats we had in the last few weeks).

I have various other unfinished language modules sitting around on my computer, waiting for me to make time for them, but all of the above have been released with BBEdit 8.5, 8.6, or 8.7.

A New JS Mode for Emacs, and Why I Wrote a JS module for BBEdit

seth@macrobyte.net — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 17:02:51 GMT

Stevey's Blog Rants: js2-mode: a new JavaScript mode for Emacs

For the OOD-loving and API-minded among you, the "beautiful" way to do syntax coloring would have been to finish parsing, then walk the AST using a Visitor interface, applying the coloring in a second pass. I tried it, and it was, as they say, "butt slow". In fact (perhaps not surprisingly) walking the AST takes exactly as long as parsing, so it was twice as slow as doing it inline.

So I bit the bullet and moved my syntax-coloring to happen inline with parsing. Fortunately it only introduced about 30 lines of code to the 4000-line parser/scanner, because most of the coloring happens in the scanner, at the token level. Go figure.

Steve Yegge describes (at length) his new JavaScript mode for Emacs. For much of the article he's talking about (trying to) parse the JavaScript file at the same time that he's applying syntax coloring. It's absolutely NOT a simple task, not by a long shot. He had the benefit of direct access to Brendan Eich (the author and maintainer of JavaScript itself) at least twice so far, but still describes how difficult it was. And this is someone many people consider a superstar programmer who has been working at Google for years.

Well, next to Conversant, my favorite-ever project is/was the JavaScript module in BBEdit. I won't go into all the technical details like Steve does, but I will say, "I feel his pain."

Thinking about this, I realized that I never wrote the story of how I came to be contracted with Bare Bones. With all the explosives experts, martial artists, photographers, and "connected" individuals at BB I need to be careful not to cross the lines of my NDA, but I think I can tell this story safely. ;-)

How It All Started

In early Spring of 2006 — almost exactly two years ago — I was doing a lot of work with JavaScript. Prototype was my new favorite toy, but 1.0 hadn't yet been released. My editor of choice was BBEdit, but I was frustrated that it didn't list the functions in Prototype.js (follow that link for more details, including pictures). I wrote to Bare Bones tech support to ask if they knew of any third-party, BBEdit, language modules for JavaScript.

The answer was "no," but I was told that a couple other people had asked about improvements to their JavaScript support. I wrote back to say that I'd like to take a crack at it, if I could only see "the source to the current syntax module." Hah. Yeah, like that was ever going to happen. "Could you send me some of the source to your app, so I can write something better?" (That's NOT what I said, but that's probably what it sounded like.)

After lots of email back and forth, on May 10th we had only reached the point where Bare Bones was "planning to update it in a future release." I'm a developer, I know what that means. So I wrote again, and said I was going to start my own language module (based on BBEdit's public SDK for language modules), and could they just send me their current list of language keywords?

A month later, Rich himself finally sent them to me. That was June 12th. I wrote back with a better list of keywords, and told him I was going to start working on my own module unless they told me I shouldn't bother because they already had one under development. They didn't, but Rich seemed to be trying to call my bluff: you go ahead and start working on it, and if you come up with something good maybe we'll work something out. (I've been on both sides of this discussion, and I know that usually nothing happens.)

Three days later, I sent them a copy of a fully functional JavaScript language module, written in C++. (Looking back, I'm all impressed with myself!) When I'm telling this story in person, especially if Rich is nearby, I like to say that they tried to call my bluff but found I wasn't bluffing. I still think there was a little of that, but mostly I think they just dealt with this nagging, mostly-unknown customer the best way they could: "go ahead and do your thing, and yes, maybe we'll work something out."

A few days after that I sent them another one, with some more features and some bugs fixed.

A few days later, I went to RailsConf in Chicago, and found out that lots of Rails developers were using TextMate. I'd barely heard of it! (Probably because I don't go looking for new toys very often when I have work to do.)

While at the conference, I talked to other JavaScript devs about their editors, and showed them what I'd done for BBEdit. I even showed Sam Stephenson, Prototype's author, at the same time that I was showing him what I'd done for custom events in javascript. Everybody liked it, and it was definitely better than anything else out there. I also asked people why they were using whatever editor they were using. Most of the Rails folks who were using TextMate were using it because that's what the top Rails guys recommended, and because it had really good integration with Rails itself.

I wrote up all this "research" and sent it to Bare Bones when I returned home.

Writing the language module, peppering them with lots of email, and sending in the research I did at RailsConf were enough to really get their attention. In early July (can't remember... July 3rd or 5th), Rich came down here and we had lunch at Costello's Clam Shack, right on the water. I got an early look at BBEdit 8.5, we talked about my 1,001 feature requests, and I signed an NDA with a handshake (and later with pen and ink).

Perhaps as import as the business that was done that day, Rich and I became friends (and have had a casual breakfast almost every Tuesday morning since then).

Ride #11: This Year It's All About the Pain

seth@macrobyte.net — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 21:10:39 GMT

“I want to be thin again.” That thought kept running through my mind as I climbed Wintechog Hill, and every other hill this month.

A couple of years ago was pretty good: I got down to 237. For a guy my height, that's pretty good. Certainly not overweight. But for at least one season, I'd like to be really light. Since I've had my laziest winter since buying the Seven, I have some extra weight to lose (I'm three or four pounds heavier than last year).

Last year I rode 118 times, for a total of 4452.41 miles. (Oh, last year's stats have been updated, and this year's stats are up to date. Finally!) In 2006 I rode 123 times, for a total of 5039.63 miles. In 2005 I rode 123 times, for a total of 5091.29 miles. (Yes, that's weird... those years were practically identical!)

Last year I slacked off early, lost weight slowly, gained it back quickly, rode fewer times and for less miles.

So this year it's going to be different. Something I've kicked around for years but never done (too lazy) is making *all* of my rides into hill rides. Remember that tough, Tuesday-night half century I've been talking about forever (with "insanity hill")? I'm building up to making that my daily route. Basically, I'm going to pretend that I live in a really hilly area, so my main route is going to be the toughest route around.

Already I'm going up Pumpkin Hill and Wintechog Hill on every ride. At the end of Wintechog I turn right onto Route 2 (which is under construction and makes me slightly nervous), and ride past Cossaduck Hill Road on my left. Next month I'm going to change the route, taking out Wintechog and adding in Cossaduck, Gilliver (if its passable) and the two hills of Wyassup. By June I should be doing all of them.

It's going to hurt, but I'm serious about really getting into shape this year. By the PMC (first weekend of August) I want to be in better shape than ever. Lighter, faster, stronger: choose three!

(Note that the "pain" reference is a joke. I love cycling more than ever. Hills do hurt, but that's never going to be "what it's all about.")

Stats: 36.1 miles (58.12 km) in 2h 3' 56" for an average speed of 17.47 mph (28.13 kph).

Stats to date: Rides: 11, Ttl Miles: 275.18, Ttl Time: 15h 56' 4", Avg Miles: 25.01, Avg Minutes: 1h 26' 54", Avg Speed: 17.26 mph

Reset the Joe Grieco Timer

seth@macrobyte.net — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:26:31 GMT

It's been quite awhile — at least a year, I think — but I just got another call for Joe Grieco. Those business cards he put out all those years ago were amazingly long-lived!

Toddling Along...

seth@macrobyte.net — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 19:16:16 GMT

Sunday afternoon while we drove up to Norwich to pick up pizza, Shannon and I "discussed" the fact that Lauren wasn't walking yet on her own. I said she'd walk when she was ready, and that it wouldn't be long. Probably this week.

After we returned home, she went down to take a shower, and I watched Lauren. Corinne joined us in the livingroom for a little while and we talked about it. Corinne agreed with me, and agreed that Lauren would be walking very soon. She sat down on the floor and we worked on it with Lauren for a few minutes.

Shannon came back up, and I pulled out the camera. "I think she's going to walk now." Shannon and Corinne sat down on the living room floor, but before I could even turn on the camera Lauren had already walked from Corinne to Shannon. D'oh!!

Not Sure About This

Ooh! A Toy!

Catch Me!

I Love This Here Piece of Floor

That Doesn't Look
Like a Carrot

So, these are not pictures of her very first steps, but they are pictures of her first steps on the day she first did it. Good enough, I hope.

On Monday I made a video of it, which you can see right here. It's very short, just 16 seconds.

(As always, if the pictures don't show up in email, go to the web site.)

Mystic River on a March Evening

seth@macrobyte.net — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 18:11:06 GMT

Lauren and I drove down to the Mystic River for some reason... i don't even rememeber why we were there, now. I had my camera with me (surprise!), and loved the light, so I took some shots. They're a little dark, but I like how they came out. The river was smooth but not quite glassy. The sun was setting behind us, but it lit up the clouds over the river.

Would love to know which one(s) you think are best. Leave comments on the photos, or post something here, please.

Because of Firefox's unfortunate color-space issues, the pictures will look best in Safari or Internet Explorer. They're already dark (intentionally), but they're practically black in Firefox.

Four Long Years

seth@macrobyte.net — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 19:39:40 GMT

It has been four years today since Shane died. (Sure have been a lot of changes in our lives since then!)

Sometimes it seems like it was just yesterday. That's both good and bad. We can still remember the sound of his voice, his devilish smile, the way he and his mom loved each other. But we also remember the pain of that day, and I particularly remember how close I came to losing Corinne at the same time, and the sound of her heart breaking when she screamed.

March 12th reopens wounds every year, sheds new tears every year, rains every year. I hate this day.

On the other hand, Shane's loss is always there, in the background. The anniversary is the day when it all comes to the front. This is the day when we talk about it the most, when we deal with it directly. It's also the day when we talk about him the most. That, at least, is a good thing.

Still, we hate this day.

Annoying Color Space Issue in Firefox

seth@macrobyte.net — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 12:42:32 GMT

Jim Correia and I spent a little time talking about this a few months ago, but I just noticed the problem again. Look at the following image:

The image on the left is how Firefox 2 and 3 render it. The image on the right shows the same image in Safari. (You won't see any image if you're reading this in email, you'll have to go to the link above.)

If you don't see the difference immediately, look at Lauren's face. The color in the one on the right is really good, and is why I marked this image as one of my favorites in both iPhoto and Safari. The color in Firefox is terrible. She's darker, and the skin tone is way off.

This is really annoying. I think I understand the basics of this problem, but I'm told that the root of it is the cost of licensing the colorspace technology (from Adobe?). Mozilla has more money than they know what to do with right now, and they have a lot of really smart people. I hope they solve this soon.

(Note that the picture looks pretty good in Internet Explorer, also. Of the three major browsers, Firefox is the only one with this problem.)

Happy First Birthday, Lauren!

seth@macrobyte.net — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 03:35:02 GMT

This beautiful, happy, silly, little girl is one year old, as of today. It's almost impossible to believe.

We had the birthday party at the ecclesial hall in Westerly, today. Angi Drake decorated for us, and Rachel Carlson (Corinne's friend from work) made dozens of cupcakes and a special "teddy bear cake" for Lauren, which she demolished.

She got lots of presents from all of her "aunts and uncles." I'm making notes about who gave her gifts that make lots of noise. (I will repay...) ;-)

Possibly the best part of the day was that Shannon had permission to go to the party... in Rhode Island! She now has permission to cross the line with us on Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. Yay!!

Most of the ecclesia was there, and I got some good shots (not just of Lauren). Check out the full set of pics in the flickr set, Laurens First Birthday Party.

This Round's On Me ??

seth@macrobyte.net — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 01:44:43 GMT

Part of my standard morning routine is to go to the Dunkin Donuts, just a mile from my house, for an extra large coffee. This morning I was running a bit late and hadn't had any breakfast, so I ordered a bagel sandwich with it. My total came to $4.87, and I paid with my debit card as I usually do.

This evening, Corinne was looking at our online banking, and started yelling something like, "What the heck!?" I went to see what was wrong...

52 charges from Dunkin Donuts today. All different. Totaling hundreds of dollars!

Somehow, apparently, our credit card number got stuck in their drive through's cash register.

We'll obviously be disputing these charges, in the morning.

The most annoying thing about this, for me, is that two days ago the bank called me to verify that I had actually authorized AT&T to charge me $50 to add a line to my wireless account. "Yes, of course I did." But do they call to find out if I authorized DD to charge me for 52 orders in one morning?!? No. Which one of these two things looks more suspicious, hmm?

Decay and Delapidation

seth@macrobyte.net — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 17:52:54 GMT

Rich gave me a link to a single picture of a tree growing out of a mound of old books. Fascinated, I looked through the entire set.

The set made me cry.

At the bottom of every picture in the set is a link to a weblog post called Sweet Juniper about the photographer's thoughts on decay and delapidation in Detroit, and his reaction to the nearly overwhelming emotions evoked by those pictures.

The contrast he draws between the abandoned train station and the abandoned schoolbooks gave me shivers, but it wasn't a good feeling.

Life, the Universe, and Everything

seth@macrobyte.net — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 15:18:37 GMT

Shannon started working last week at the Staples in New London.

Shannon's mom came up for the week with Shannon's son, Richie. For about half the week Richie was here with us, the other half he was with her mom. She also gave Shannon her manual-transmission Jeep. We're working on teaching Shannon to drive it. Shannon doesn't stall at every intersection, and she doesn't panic every time there's a car approaching on the right.

I have the flu.

The Blazer and Toyota are both on the road again. Knock knock.

Doris Sternberg, an old family friend and my mom's surrogate-mother for the last 20 years, died last night. She was quite old, and was loved by pretty much everybody. (I remember picking Aunt Doris up at her apartment every Wednesday night when I was a teenager in NH, to drive her to Bible class.) She'll be missed, terribly, but we know we'll see her again.

Lauren and Shannon have started to come to an understanding. Shannon's forcing it a little, but babies adapt very quickly. All Shannon really cares about right now is that Lauren start calling her "mommy" ASAP. Sigh.

She's even trying to compete with us for Lauren's attention, though I'm not sure she's aware of it. (And, it's a very one-sided competition.) Example: yesterday Lauren had some toy in her hand, and was holding it out to me. Every time I put out my hand so she could give it to me, she'd snatch it back and smile devilishly. Shannon saw it happen and immediately started asking, "Can I have it? Lauren, can I have it?" Lauren gave it to her, and Shannon showered her with praise and thank-you's. ::shrug::

Corinne is thinking about Shane even more than usual, these days, as we approach the anniversary. It all starts with the Super Bowl (which, in 2004, was when we started seeing a lot of him again). She went through a really bad patch last week when Richie was here and she was feeling overwhelmed, but she's better now.

I plan to start asking for donations for the PMC software auctions this month.

I'm sorry that updates have been so few and far between this year. I barely have time to live this life, never mind write about it.

Stupid Blazer

seth@macrobyte.net — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 12:00:31 GMT

Late last year we spent about $1,000 getting some things fixed on the Blazer. Shortly after that we found that it had no heat, and there was a serious grinding noise coming from the vicinity of one of the wheels.

A few weeks ago, we started losing engine coolant. When I went to pick up Shannon, I had to fill the radiator twice (once before I left, once at the halfway house). Got that and the brakes fixed for about $400. (I hoped the brakes were causing the grinding, but I didn't really think so.)

Saturday, Corinne was taking Shannon and Lauren out for some groceries and then was going to drop Shannon off at the bowling lanes. They made it 40 feet from the driveway when one of the wheels locked up tight. She called me out there to help, and I was able to move it off to the side of the road, but had to pay another $75 to have it towed back to the garage.

The transfer case is what allows the truck to shift from 2wd to 4wd (and back). It had completely run out of (hydraulic?) oil, siezed up, and been destroyed. It was absorbing all the power of the engine, and wouldn't let the wheels turn.

A used transfer case costs $650. Four to five hours of labor is another $300+. With replacement fluids and taxes, we're up to $1,060.

It's supposed to be done today. Sigh. I hope this is the last of the big problems.

I've Had a Day... But Shannon is Home

seth@macrobyte.net — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 15:57:19 GMT

I woke up Wendesday morning about 1 second before the alarm, at 6:44:59 am.

Corinne had asked me not to wake her (or Lauren). Lauren has had a really bad cold, and I had to leave at about 8 so "please just let us both sleep in."

Did some reading. At 7:30 I tried to wake Corinne anyway. We needed to pick up the pickup (heh) at the garage, so she'd have a car to meet us in Norwich at noon. "Mom and Dad will bring me," she mumbled, eyes still closed, before rolling over and going back to sleep.

I called Dad. He would have their car up in Providence all morning. So, at 7:45 I left the house on foot and walked the mile to the garage, and drove the yota home. Corinne was up when I returned, and clearly felt pretty guilty about not getting up. "I thought that must be what you had done," she said when i told her I had walked. I wasn't upset with her, though. She and Shane are/were both very difficult to awaken in the morning.

After switching Lauren's car seat into the Toyota and topping off the Blazer's radiator (there's a leak in the cooling system, somewhere), I left in the Blazer at about 8:25.

Corinne called me at some point. She told me that Steve, our landlord, had been to the house this morning. With a real estate agent. They are going to sell the house, and we'll have to move. We've been here for about 9 1/2 years. OY!

Arrived at Quinlan Cottage (the halfway house where Shannon lived for the last five months) at a little after 10. She was out on the porch with a couple other girls, waiting for me. "Yay!" she yelled, clapping.

The four of us (including the two that were on the porch with her) carried her stuff out to the car. Good grief! She went to prison with nothing but the clothes on her back, and I literally packed the truck full of her stuff for the trip home.

We left at about 10:30.

Shannon and I talked for a little while, and I had her read a letter that Corinne wrote that explained her feelings about last week's "issues." After she read the letter, she said, "I'm going to make you guys proud. No more screwing up, I'm tired of people always being disappointed with me."

Stopped at a highway rest area to get something to eat (and pit stop). Shannon's treat! ;-)

I called Corinne (or she called me, I don't remember) to tell her we'd be in Norwich at about noon.

At a few minutes after 12, we pulled into the parking lot at the Norwich parole office. There was a guy there getting into his car... very slowly. Very, very slowly. Clearly he was waiting for us to get out so he could say something. So, we got out, and he said, "Are you here for parole?" Yes. "Ok. Because you can only park here if you're here for parole." Yes, we're really here for parole. I pointed at Shannon.

So I turned it around on him. "Are you Mark?"

Heh. He looked very confused for a couple seconds. "Ohhhh... oh! You're here to see me." He looked at his watch. "And you're right on time. I'm heading out to Middletown to pick someone up." (So in other words, he was leaving right as we were supposed to show up.) "Go home, and I'll be there in a few hours."

After searching the parking lot for the Toyota, we left hoping to find her on our way home. Instead, we found her in the next parking lot up the hill, just pulling into a space. Hugs all around, then I explained what happened and Corinne and I switched trucks for the drive home so Corinne and Shannon could chat a little. I predicted that Ossifer Sarsfeld would show up at our house around 4.

Arrived at home, lugged all the stuff into the house, had a late lunch, and put Lauren down for her nap.

I was trying to work in my office (in the basement) at 4:20 when I heard the loud knock on the front door. Told shannon he was here, and ran up to answer the door then found Corinne back in the bedroom.

Shannon is not under normal parole, she's under a program called "Transitional Supervision" (TS). She's still technically a prisoner. She's not allowed to leave the state or drive without permission. Not allowed to be near drugs or firearms. Any violation results in immediate return to the clink. He said he will ask his superiors about an exception to allow her to go to Westerly (where our 'church' is) thrice a week, but he was pretty clear that she woudln't be able to take the job she'd been (almost) promised at the Westerly Staples.

She's also required to get a job. So the standard policy is: you must have a job, but you're not allowed to drive. Nice.

We'll find out about the "exception" (to allow Shannon into Westerly) next Wednesday, when she has her first weekly appointment with him in Norwich.

After he left I spent a few hours working on my class, had dinner with Shannon and Lauren (Corinne never eats dinner at a regular hour, even though she cooks it for me almost every day), then left for class (where I was teaching) at 7:15. Class started at 8, finished at 9, and I was home at 10 and in bed a little after 11.

As I said: I had a day. In fact it feels more like two or three days jammed into one.

Happy Birthday, Dad!

seth@macrobyte.net — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 03:00:44 GMT

(Posting this before it's too late!)

Happy birthday to my Dad!

I'm sorry I didn't get to see him today, but at least we got to talk on the phone for a little while and I will see him tomorrow night.

(Happy Birthday to Kerri Hicks, too.)

Shannon's Troubles, Lousy System, Rule Enforcement

seth@macrobyte.net — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 16:11:12 GMT

The good news is that nothing (new) is wrong with Shannon. She simply took the afternoon off work to hang out with some friends.

Of course, that's totally against the rules. Either she got the day (or afternoon) off from Staples and they were covering for her every time I called (entirely possible, as they know her situation), or she did this without even telling them she wouldn't be back after lunch. Plus, it's entirely against the rules of the halfway house: she's still technically a prisoner, and only has permission to go to work and doctor's offices.

"Hanging out with friends" and being very susceptible to peer pressure is, in many ways, what got Shannon into this situation in the first place.

My understanding is that her case worker (counsellor?) at the house had only three options: send her back to regular prison for the rest of her term, give her an infraction ticket (wrist slap), or scold her but do nothing. It appears that she chose the third option.

Shannon's biggest issue is that she's very selfish, thinks only about what will make her happy now, and doesn't care about long term consequences. The proof is that she would do this knowing that she was already a month beyond her scheduled parole date, and that we were just waiting for the home inspection.

Her counselor was supposed to tell her that I wasn't coming down. She just called me to ask if I was still coming. This was my first chance to talk to her.

All she did was drive around Norwalk with her friend Jen, wasting gas for the day. She had the day off from work, so I was right that Staples was just covering for her. Three different people at Staples covered for her, including the manager. Wow.

I've said from the very beginning (including in my letter to the Judge) that the things Mike and Shannon need to learn are not going to be taught in prison. She needs strong role models, discipline, and guidance. At the halfway house, all she has is a bunch of people that believe "bad" means "got caught." (Including the staff!)

People — especially kids — only learn from their mistakes if there are consistent consequences for making them, for breaking the rules.

For example (and I talked to Sean and Jim about this last year, so they may remember it), let's say you have a rule in your house: no bouncing balls in the house. Do you enforce the rule (issue some sort of punishment) for breaking the rule, or do you just tell him to knock it off? In my experience, most parents don't really enforce the rule until the bouncing ball annoys them or the kid breaks a lamp.

Which means, of course, that the rule was "don't annoy your parents" or "don't break a lamp."

The rules at the halfway house include, "don't go anywhere except pre-approved places, and come straight home afterwards" and "don't lie to the staff." Shannon broke the first rule by hanging out with a friend for the day instead of working (and I'm betting this was not anywhere near the first time), and did it by telling the staff that she had to work that day when she wasn't even scheduled.

I'm not writing this to suggest that I'm giving up. Corinne and I talked about it last night... she's close to wanting to give up, but I've reminded her that we never thought Shannon would learn anything (good) by going to prison. It's going to be up to us to straighten her out when she comes home.

Next week.

This means we're going to need strong ground rules, and some way to enforce them.

(At least she's ok. That was concern number one.)

Shannonigans

seth@macrobyte.net — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 20:12:51 GMT

This morning we got a call from a CT Parole Officer. He wanted to do the "home inspection" to make sure we have a safe, legal environment for Shannon to be released into for parole. We've been waiting for this call for about a month now. The officer said he would be here between 2 and 3 PM.

I tried to call Shannon at work (Staples in Norwalk, CT) to let her know it was finally happening, but they said she wasn't there yet.

The parole officer showed up at 11:30. I figured he'd be early, as they want to make sure they're not releasing her into a house of druggies, weapons, etc. They show up early so they can surprise you in the middle of hiding stuff or cleaning up. We have nothing to worry about in that regard, of course, but the cats had just knocked over one of their food bowls, and Lauren's stuff is EVERYWHERE. Still, baby-related clutter is not considered dangerous (if only they knew!).

He disagreed with almost everything we said, mentioned proudly that he's a full law enforcement officer with a gun and a badge (even grabbed at his gun so we'd know where he hides it under his jacket), and said that the halfway house "lied to your faces" about Shannon being able to get a job at Staples in our area. "Yes, she has to get a job or she'll go back to prison, but it won't be at Staples. She'll have to work at a place like the car wash where I just washed my car."

He "approved" us and the house, and said we should expect a call from her parole officer tomorrow (he even gave us his name, as he was already assigned).

I didn't like him (the guy inspecting us), but I don't have to. He's not there to be liked, just to make sure the house is safe and that we really do want to sponsor her. He was gone in less than 30 minutes, but he pushed enough of my buttons that I then had a small argument with Corinne about something as trivial as how I answered one of his questions. Growl.

After he left I tried to call Shannon at work, again. This time they told me that she was too busy to talk to me. I told them this was very important. They said they would have her call back. (Shannon calls me in my office or at home all the time, and knows both numbers by heart.)

At about 2:30, her new parole officer called. (Maybe these guys are just perpetually early. If so, they should be running the whole state government.) He gave me a date and time to pick her up at the halfway house: one week from today, in the morning. Excellent! From there we bring her straight to her orientation at the parole office in Norwich (for all of us), then we can bring her home. He also mentioned that subsequent visits will be in New London, which is a bit closer.

I called Staples a third time, and told them I have an important message for Shannon and must speak to her. "I'm sorry, she's not here." I pressed him, and he said she hadn't come back from lunch. "Do you mean she quit?" I asked. "No, no! We don't know what happened. She just didn't come back."

Oy.

So I called the halfway house, hoping she had gone back there. First I told them who I was, and that Shannon's parole had finally been approved. I gave them the name of the officer, and the date and time we'd be picking her up. I told two people, and the second was her actual case worker, who was pretty excited for her. I told them that I'd tried to call Shannon at Staples to let her know, but that she hadn't come back from lunch and I was hoping I could talk to her there at the house.

She wasn't there. They didn't actually set off an alarm, but they might as well have. There's a phrase they use to describe someone who disppears, even just for an hour, when living at one of these halfway houses: "Escaped Prisoner" or "Escaped Convict." In the background, I could hear people using the words, "possible escapee."

They took my office number and said they would call back when they knew anything so I wouldn't have to worry. That was about an hour ago. I'm worrying.

In fact, I am currently as stressed and anxious as I can remember being in the last couple of years.

It's possible that nothing significant happened. She sometimes has appointments with her doctor, dentist, or therapist. She may have forgotten to tell them that she wouldn't be back right away. If that's the case, or something like it, then they'll slap her wrist and be done with it.

Blood pressure guages within five miles of my house are all going haywire while I wait for news.

La vie à la Maison de Dillingham

seth@macrobyte.net — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 21:46:38 GMT

“Life at the Dillingham House”

(At least, that's what I was trying to say. Flip?)

It's 2008 already. When did that happen?

Lauren is over ten months old already. Not walking by herself yet, but she's learning to imitate us: she waves, whispers "kitty", and of course says "dadadadadada" all the time. She can crawl at about 32 mph. Her favorite thing is playing "boo" with me or Corinne. Her least favorite thing is seeing any of her toys stacked up. Just put one block on top of another, and she'll streak across the room to knock them down.

Shannon should be coming home this month. Still waiting for the home inspection.

Mike is still up at Osborn C.I., but he's been moved into "the program", so he has a little more freedom, more social interaction, and a little less boredom.

Corinne spends most of her days cooking and taking care of Lauren (somebody's going to misread that and find it funny or disturbing), napping in the afternoons, then enjoying her time off in the evenings.

Me? I'm pretty much on the same schedule i've been on since Lauren started sleeping through the night (at six weeks). Up around 7, work most of the day, come up in the evening to have dinner and watch (play with) Lauren until it's time for her to go to bed. Then I tell myself I'm going to work until I go to bed, but I end up playing Scrabble (online, it's actually called Scrabulous) until bedtime.

PMC registration has already opened, and I've already started (casually) looking for sponsors.

Now you're all caught up. Any more questions?